Always

Here's my small attempt to do a conference re-cap. I'm so thankful that Sovereign Grace includes the wives for these conferences. I find it an invaluable time. My soul always leaves refreshed and envinsioned for ministy. Plus I find it easier to understand my husbands call and listen to what the Lord did in his soul through the messages when I'm actually sitting through them myself.

They were all outstanding and different in their own way but the message that impacted me the most was Dave Harvey's message on The Mission. Namely church planting. Probably no suprise there :) Well after working through Matthew 28 he got to the end of the passage and read,

"And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”

Now my emotions were already being stirred as it's been somewhat of a struggle for me these past few months. I needed this message to remind me of the "why" we were moving, leaving behind friends & family. With the reminder of the "why" brought excitement and encouragement. With the "always" brought a flood of tears. I do mean flood. It's one thing to cry during worship but to hold back sobs during a message is a little uncomfortable :) See in my unbelief I had forgotten the "always". I'm a bit of a pessimist, though I prefer the title of realist. But either way, in my sin, I can forecast trials and forget the always. As Dave contiuned to speak on the promise of God being with us to the end of the age I felt the Holy Spirit flood my mind and in a supernatural way applying "always" to each and every fear I have. I praise God for this much needed reminder and I can say that since that message a renewed joy and peace has come upon me.

Chris was overcome with emotion for different reasons. He was obviously encouraged that I was encouraged as he has patiently cared for my soul as I've worked through my fears these past couple of months. But this was not the first time he had heard this message.

He and our Sr. Pastor had attended an evangelism conference at the Pastors College roughly four years ago. Dave preached a similar message to this and afterwards Chris was bursting with desire to plant a church. They had great talks and he confirmed that he had always known Chris would plant a church it was just a matter of when. Now my husband would be kind and say at this point he said "we" needed more time before we were sent out. But in reality he said "Tara" needed more time. He was right. Four years ago I was struggling with newborn Trevor, still trying to figure out how to be a mom, Pastor's wife and well was just one big fat sinner. By God's grace and I do mean only God's grace, when talks resurfaced four years later he and the other Pastor's could confidently say, you are ready. Sometimes I feel like arguing the "ready" factor. I saw my dear friend Betsy who oversees the care of the Pastors college students with her husband Gary and pleaded with her to let us back in for another year. "I'm not ready!!!" But I think in some ways planting a church is like having a baby. If you wait till you are completely "ready" it would never happen :)

So although I still have had to fight off fears and battle unbelief this week, I'm fighting with the promise of always.

Taylor Singing on Easter

Yesterday we got a call from our friend Jon, who is the worship leader for our church. He asked if Taylor would be up for singing a little solo at church for Easter. We talked with her, taught her the song, prayed with her and walked her on stage. What joy it brought my heart to see my little girl singing to Jesus on Easter morning. Taylor has had such a sweet, teachable heart towards the Lord. We took some time to go over the meaning of the verses and chorus words she would be singing. I praise God for her and pray that the Lord would only increase her love & knowledge of him.

I also realized, about a few minutes before walking her onto stage, that she had never done anything like this before. Because she's always singing for us at home it feels like she's an old pro. So for our San Francisco friends and others who missed it, here's a little recording compliments of my dad :)

Happy Return & Happy Easter

I love Easter. I love meditating on the power that comes in knowing and believing that Christ did indeed rise from the dead. Not only did He go to the cross to die as a perfect man for mine & your sins but he also conquered death for his children as well! Hallelujah what a Savior!

We have been reading the kids the Jesus Story Book Bible. Here's a section from the story on the resurrection that brings tears to my eyes. Mary has just found Jesus alive and was running to tell the others.

"And it seemed to her that morning, as she ran, almost as if the whole world had been made anew, almost as if the whole world was singing for joy- the tress, tiny sounds in the grass, the birds... her heart. Was God really making everything sad come untrue? Was he making even death come untrue? She couldn't wait to tell Jesus' friends."

Chris, Taylor & I just returned from a week in Maryland. Chris & I had our Pastor's & wives conference with Sovereign Grace. Taylor stayed with our old P.C. host family for the week and after the conference we all did a little D.C. sightseeing. It was an amazing week having our souls refreshed and meeting with others. The highlight was definitely spending the last day with our second family, the Dustins! We miss you guys already. If time permits I have much to write on in the upcoming weeks and plenty of pictures to edit and post as well! And since I just found out that I'm not moving for two more weeks I should have some time :)

*the above picture is of hannah's adorable bunny...with easter nearing I couldn't resist :)

Ms. H

This month we've kept quite the busy pace. There's seems to be something about moving and gearing up to move again that is draining. But when I'm not busy being emotional about moving to Peoria in 2 weeks, I've been busy with some photography jobs. My friend Becky, who a year ago got me a job as a swim instructor to mom's and babies one day a week, this month offered me some jobs helping out this swim school with some various projects. I've done staff pictures, flier pictures and recently working on brochure and website pictures. So fun. I love that place!

Well a week ago I got a call from a girl, who works with Becky, wondering if I would take her Sr. pictures for her. I was honored and honestly a little nervous. There's something about having a d40 and being aware of it's limitations, along with a 50mm that won't autofocus with the d40, that keeps me desperate when taking these jobs. And well let's just say it how it is, this is her Sr. pictures! But God was kind and this sweet Christian gal was amazingly beautiful inside & out. I had so much fun her!






I have no idea who's jeep this is... It was just hanging out in the parking lot :)


This girl has so much personality! I loved it!


Thanks Hannah for the privilege of celebrating your Sr. year with you and giving me the honor of capturing it in pictures!

Roots Run Deep

I recently downloaded Jadon Lavik's album Roots Run Deep: A Collection of Hymns. I'm a sucker for well done classic hymns. I love his acoustic takes on Tis' So Sweet & I Surrender All!

Check it out here.

Happy Birthday My Man

This week we celebrated Chris' birthday. Oh how I love this man! He is truly a man after God's heart. Passionate about God's word, gently in how he leads me and a loving father to his children. Who knew that in His 33rd year he would be leading a church plant team to Peoria AZ?! God did. And he's used the past 33 years to prepare him for this time. It has been so fun to sit back and experience Chris' gifting and leadership in a new way as he leads our family and our team through preparing for beginning Grace church. I know I speak for the team when I say he is doing a wonderful job!

There is not another man on earth that I would desire to follow with my life, another man I would desire to be a father to my children and not another man that I would want leading me on a church plant!

I love you Chris. I love that God has given us to each other to help one another throughout life's storms & rejoice together in life's joy's. Most importantly I'm so thankful for how you point me & all those who know you, to God's word and the glorious gospel news.

Quick Trip To The Pines

A friend offered up their cabin to us for a night this week. Actually they offered it up to us for a few nights but Chris is officiating another wedding so we only had two days to spare. It was an amazingly, beautiful 4 hour drive. We played, searched for pinecones, explored, not much sleep was invovled, but it was well worth the drive. And get this, while we were there we met two families from the valley. And guess where they live? Peoria! How crazy- we drive 4 hrs and connect with people who live where we are going! It was great and we exchanged information. We look forward to having them over to our new Peoria home once we get there.

It's been an insanely busy month of moving, sort of getting settled, gearing up to move again all the while building with our church planting team. We were so thankful for the opportunity to get out of town as a family for the night! Thanks friends!

A Roller Coaster Ride

I've never liked roller coasters. I don't enjoy the ups or the downs, twists and upside down turns. I don't even like the nice smooth parts because you know from watching others go before you that you are going to be dropped any mintue and the smoothness will be no more. Recently we went to Disney World's Animal Kingdom. There was a ride a new ride there called Expedition Everest (see picture above)


"Careening into the darkness, you might get a glimpse of the denizen of this icy domain. Nail-biting hairpin turns hurl you forward and down sudden drops on the mountain slopes in a race to escape."

Sound like fun? Not to me. No thank you sir. I'll take the boat ride that's calm and quiet with some cute little animals that you can admire along the way. Not real animals cause they can go CRAZY on you and eat your head off when your not looking. I like fake, little, animals that look real but you know there not so well, your safe. But here we are at Animal Kingdom and my husband comes to me with this gleam in his eye saying "I've got an extra fast pass!?" Knowing this chance may never come again, I take the pass thankful that it'll at least be fast and I won't have too much time standing in line to plan out all the many ways I could die. I get on, take the ride and lived.

Almost a year ago my husband came to me with that same gleam in his eye and said "Honey let's plant a church." He had said this many times before but I knew this time he meant it. Fasten the safety bar, let the ride begin. Along the way I'm tempted to think about all the many ways this ride could fail. The hurt that could come by getting on. It's not safe for sure. However, I'm thankful that this roller coaster isn't run by some teenage kid completely unaware of what's at stake if this ride was to fail me. No it is run by my faithful loving Father. He has gone before me in every twist and turn and when I'm going through the dark tunnel unable to see what's coming next, He promises me that darkness is as light to him. He sees. He knows. He provides.

even the darkness is not dark to you;
the night is bright as the day,
for darkness is as light with you Psalm 139

He has also promised ultimate safety. My eternal home with him will never be taken away or put in jeopardy. He will lead me there, granted it'll be a roller coaster ride but I will arrive one day in the presence of my King. I do not know what this church plant's future will be but I know that I would regret it if I had said, "No thank you sir, I'll stay here on the nice, safe ride. Go on without me".

Thank you Chris for giving me the joy to take this ride with you. I'm excited to see God's faithfulness meet us at each and every twist and turn.

Family Friendly Community Theatre

Some friends of ours at church have started an acting company called Command Performers. They are some of the most gifted people I know and also happen to be in the upcoming movie "Come What May". This is produced by the same company who made Fireproof. Their company's first performance, Little Women, is in a few weeks and I would highly encourage any who live in AZ to consider attending. I know I'm excited to see the play with Taylor!

For more information on Command Performers and what they are about as well as purchasing tickets for Little Women, check out their website: Command Performers

A Helper In Progress

*my lovely mascara that rylee found this morning and decorated her eyes and hands with

This picture pretty much sums up my week :) Complete with many more memorable moments. Like on weds when Trevor yelled in the face of my new neighbor because she told her son that it was time to go in. Trevor apparently didn't like the news of his new playmate having to go in and right in front of my very eyes screamed "NOOOOO!!!" in her face. Great way to introduce yourself to your neighbors. Well I took him inside quickly for discipline and left him in his room to give him a chance to regain some self control. Meanwhile I come out, say goodbye to my neighbor and put rylee in the car instructing her to get in her seat and buckle up. I run in to grab trevor, and come out a few seconds later to find that Rylee had managed to close the automatic door and look herself in, with my purse & keys inside. Nice. Learned THAT lesson the hard way. So Taylor and I talked with Rylee for 5 minutes pointing and motioning where she needed to "unlock" the door. She'd kept locking the door over and over and I'd say no "lower" so she'd go down to the floor looking for the button. My mind was racing as to what to do. Fire department? Call my dad? I was just thankful that it wasn't in the middle of a hot AZ summer. So I stopped and prayed and sure enough within moments she was back at the lock button and happened upon the unlock button instead. This is all in front of my other new neighbors who live across the street and leave their screen door open all day listening to the world outside. I'm sure I was quite the sight. Kind of like this morning while I'm in the restroom and I hear trevor yell, "Rylee is outside!!" So there I am again, in front of this screen door, running in my PJ's with a child who just keeps running farther away from me.

It's not easy being a mom. It's not easy being a mom when your husband is out of town for five days. Chris left monday to take a class at the Pastor's College. There were times early on in our marriage where I would be overcome with fear when trips for Chris drew near. Not being the quiet type I would often voice my "fears" in a sinful way to my husband. Making him feel "oh so great" for leaving town, essentially for doing his job. Over time the Lord has convicted me of my sinful attitude and with each passing trip and by his grace I can see growth in trusting the Lord for Chris' extended times away.

This last weekend I had the privilege of attending a Susan Hunt conference. It was amazing and I'm sure will be the source of many blog posts to come. Being a helper as defined by scripture was one of many topics she covered. Helper in the bible is the Hebrew word ezer as seen in Gen 2:18. "Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” In the Old Testament the same word ezer often refers to God as our Helper. What a thought! I have the opportunity to be Christ- like in my role as a helper to my husband. She gave us a list, not exhaustive, of ways the word describes God as helper:
Defends- Ex 18:4
Sees and Cares for suffering- Psalm 10:14
Supports- Psalm 20:2
Protects- Psalm 33:20
Delivers from distress- Psalm 70:5
Rescues- Psalm 72:12-14
Comforts- Psalm 86:17

I can't think of a better way to prepare for a week alone then being washed by the word. Going into the week I had the chance to be a helper to Chris by joyfully embracing his call as a Pastor and seeing and supporting this trip as a means to help him in his role. He went to be taught by Andreas Kostenberger who has written commentaries on the book of John. Which happens to be the first book Chris preaches through for our church plant in Peoria. So in a sense not only did I have the chance to be a helper to my husband but to our Peoria church as well. What an amazing opportunity! When I embrace my role as helper, I am free to release my husband with joy, not begrudgingly, and pray for him while he is gone. I am also free to laugh at those funny moments of insanity that come and go all week, instead of resenting my husband for being gone. God's grace is sufficient for each and every circumstance that I encounter and I can say with joy that His grace has been sufficient for me this week!

Sadly, as I have confessed, my attitude has not always been one of a joyful helper. I am thankful that I am forgiven and helped by THE perfect helper, God. There are implications reaching in these scriptures that far surpass this trip. I'm excited to see how the Lord uses Susan's teaching and His word to encourage my growth in biblical womanhood! And I'm also excited to have my husband return home tonight :)

Boot Camp Results

Ok so not to brag or anything but boot camp is over and the results are in... I scored in the top five of most inches lost! WOOT! Of course I gained a pound... go figure :)

All I have to say is "who's the cheater now?!"

*picture taken by my 6yr old :)

Looking To Jesus

I can look to a lot of things inside of me or circumstances I find myself in moment by moment to define my faith. I'm so thankful that I do not need to rely on the ever changing world around me or my sinful nature that falls short daily to define my faith. I can look up to the perfecter and author of it all!

"Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith." Hebrews 12:2

If, then, your faith is feeble and tried, do not be cast down. Faith does not save you; though it be an instrument of salvation, and, as such, is of vast importance, it is but the instrument. The finished work of Immanuel is the ground of your salvation, yes, it is your salvation itself. Then, make not a savior of your faith; despise it not if it is feeble, exult not in it if it is strong, trample not on it if it is small, deify it not if it is great: such are the extremes to which every believer is exposed. If your faith is feeble and sharply tried, it is no evidence that you are not a believer; but the evidence of your acceptance in the Beloved is to arise from Jesus alone; then let your constant motto be, "looking unto Jesus;" looking to Him just as you are; looking unto Him when faith is feeble; looking unto Him when faith is tried; looking unto Him when faith is declining; yes, looking unto Him when you fear you have no faith. Look up, tried and tempted soul! Jesus is the Author, the Sustainer, and He will become the Finisher of your faith. All you need is in Him; one glimpse, dim though it be, of His cross, one touch, trembling though it be, of His garment, will lift you from your lowest depths, lighten your heaviest burden, gild your darkest prospect, and when you arrive at Jordan's brink, will bear you safely through its swellings, and land you on the sunny and verdant shores of Canaan.

Do Not Fear

I read this in my devotion time this morning and was convicted by how often my first response to trials or mountains shaking is fear and not a calm peace that God is over it all.

God is our refuge and strength,
a very present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way,
though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea,
though its waters roar and foam,
though the mountains tremble at its swelling.

There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
the holy habitation of the Most High.
God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved;
God will help her when morning dawns.
The nations rage, the kingdoms totter;
he utters his voice, the earth melts.
The Lord of hosts is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.

Come, behold the works of the Lord,
how he has brought desolations on the earth.
He makes wars cease to the end of the earth;
he breaks the bow and shatters the spear;
he burns the chariots with fire.
“Be still, and know that I am God.
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth!”
The Lord of hosts is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.


"The very hairs of your head are all numbered. (Matt 10:30) This verse literally means what it says. God's wisdom and knowledge are so great that He even knows the number of hairs on your head. His providence descends to the minute dust particles in a summer storm. He numbers the gnats in the sunshine and the fish in the sea. He controls the massive planets that shine in the heavens, and He deals with the teardrops that trickle from your eyes. He who supports the dignity of His throne in the splendor of heaven maintains it in the depths of the dark sea. There is nothing above, under, or around you that is not determined by His counsel and will.

I am not a fatalist, but I strictly hold to the doctrine that God has decreed all things that come to pass and that he rules over all things for HIs glory and good. What have we to fear? The unbeliever looks at the lightning and is apprehensive, but the Christian believes that it follows a predestined path, and he contemplates it with confidence. At sea, when the waves dash against a ship and toss it to and fro, some panic because they think that this is all chance. But believers see order in the waves. They hear music in the wind and are at peace because the tempest is in God's hand. Why then should we fear?

In all this world's convulsions, in all temporary distress and danger, we can remain calm, collected, and boldly say with confidence, " I Know God is here and all this is working for my good." Therefore we will not fear, even though the earth be removed and though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea; though it's waters roar and be troubled, though the mountains shake with it's swelling" Think on these things. " Beside Still Waters

Goodbye Page

Tay & Lauren meet at just barely 2 yrs old. Lauren and her family has made living on this street unbelievable. One could not ask for better neighbors. But over time they became more then neighbors, they are our dear friends. And just this past year they became members at our church Sovereign Grace Gilbert. Thanks for all the memories guys! We will truly miss not living next to you but look forward to having you over to our new home in Peoria.







I was a huge Amy Grant fan as a kid. I always liked the song "If these walls could speak" and the concept it represented. So I took it and made it my own :)

Today we pulled away from the home that our family has lived in the longest to date. We came as three and leave as five.

Goodbye Page

If these walls could speak they would tell of babies cries
of first laughs and crawls
first steps taken first words spoken.
Of bikes being learned and words being read
of dreams being shared and friendships secured.

If these walls could speak they would tell of love, laughter, joy
of tears that fell and grace that healed
of God's word proclaimed not lived out perfectly
but forgiveness extended in every case.

These walls have been kind to give such provision
a young family growing in the Lords vision
Discovering what he'd have them be and how he'd require them to live.
Today we leave it all behind knowing it's just one more stop in this mortal life
Soon enough we will be home.
A home that will never change, and never end.

So this is where we must go our separate ways.
goodbye Page.

"I the Lord do not change"

We live in a world that constantly changes. Turn on the news and the outlook for the world changes day by day. Economy might get better, it might not, it could be worse than the great depression. How bleak our outlook if lived by the news. I'm thankful in my world that's changing that I can go to God's word. Something that will never change. And find that I serve a God that changes not. What glorious truth!


"...Turn we, now, to what is the testimony of revealed scripture. That testimony, though uttered in many ways, may be comprised in the one assertion, "I the Lord do not change" (Mal. 3:6). Glorious truth! To think, as imagination wings its flight from everlasting to everlasting, that in the existence of the Being whose lifetime is eternity, there has been no "variableness"—that He was the same before the world was; that He is the same now; and will be the very same, ages and ages after the angel has stood on the wreck of matter and proclaimed "Time to be no longer"—as perfect at the present moment as He can be when an "eternity of eternity" shall have rolled by.

But in what ways may this unchangeableness of God be regarded as a 'Palm of Elim,' imparting a sense of rest and refreshment to those encamping under its shadow? Comforting doctrine, it undoubtedly is. It leads us, among other reflections, to feel assured of His certain foreknowledge of all events—that whatever happens to us must be ordained by Him; and that the fitful changes in a changing world—our relations to one another, our domestic and social ties, our joys and our sorrows, are ordained, watched, and controlled by Him, who sits enthroned alike amid the radiant sunshine and above and behind the cloud-lands of life; bringing good out of seeming evil, order out of apparent confusion; overruling all (ALL), for His own glory and for the best interests of His Church.

He is spoken of as "the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows" (James 1:17). "This," observes an eminent Christian of a former age, commenting on the words, "is His disposition. An act of love may be very kind, but there is no security for the future. But when the disposition is love—unchanging love—all must be loving because He is love—all must be wise because He is wisdom." "Because God," says the inspired writer of the Epistle to the Hebrews, "wanted to make the unchanging nature of His purpose very clear to the heirs of what was promised, He confirmed it with an oath. God did this so that, by two unchangeable things in which it is impossible for God to lie, we who have fled to take hold of the hope offered to us may be greatly encouraged" (Heb. 4:17, 18).

There is a view of this peerless truth connected with our motto-verse, pre-eminently comforting, to which we have not yet turned our attention. The passage of which that verse forms a part, has, by Scriptural warrant (Heb. 1:10-12) a special application to the adorable Person in the sacred Trinity, who is pre-eminently the PALM under whose shadow His Pilgrim Israel repose. Christ, the God-man Mediator, may be supposed (in vers. 23-27) to address His Divine Father—"In the course of My life He broke my strength; He cut short My days. So I said: 'Do not take Me away, O My God, in the midst of My days.'" Then follows the Father's answer—"Your years go on through all generations. In the beginning You laid the foundations of the earth; and the heavens are the work of Your hands. They will perish, but You remain; they will all wear out like a garment. Like clothing you will change them and they will be discarded. But You remain the same, and Your years will never end" (vers. 24-2 7). Yes, of Jesus, wearing our glorified human nature—the sympathies of a refined and exalted humanity, we can say, "You are the same."

The absolute unchangeableness of God we could take little hold of —it is high, we cannot attain to it. But "the Man Christ Jesus"—the same as He lived and moved and suffered and died on earth; the same in His compassion, in His words of mercy, in His messages of love, in His tenderness to the penitent, the fearful, the doubting; in His sympathy with the bereaved and lonely; and who no longer with tears to shed, has still the heart to feel—Oh, when the spirit is torn with sorrow, and wounded with thoughts into which the cold world cannot enter; when estrangement severs brother from brother and friend from friend; where can the eye peacefully repose but on this unchanging One? "BUT YOU are the same!" Truly this is "an anchor of the soul, sure and steadfast," for it "enters within the veil!"

Change is our portion here in this present world. The Psalmist in this passage points to the starry heavens above, and the apparently immovable, immutable foundations of the earth beneath, and inscribes on them the record, "They will perish. Like clothing You will change them and they will be discarded" (as a worn-out garment which the Almighty Maker lays aside, as for no more use). When everything within and around us may be echoing the same sad verdict, it is blessed to be able to turn from the unstable to the stable; from the reed which the blast may bend and the hurricane shiver, to the Great living ROCK which spurns the storm and defies all change! In a word, to lay firm grasp on the glorious antithesis of Israel's Kingly Minstrel. It is God in contrast with man; Immutability in contrast with mutability, the Infinite with the finite, the mortal with the Immortal, Eternity with time. "But You are the same!"
John MacDuff