Monday, March 22, 2010
steady persistence in a course of action, a purpose, a state, etc., esp. in spite of difficulties, obstacles, or discouragement.
I've been at this pregnancy thing for 10 weeks now. I'm tired. Tired physically, but mostly tired of feeling sick all the time. Add in a couple migraines, an ear infection and constant indigestion, I'm ready to cry "uncle". But the Lord gave me a word at the very beginning of this pregnancy that has been such an encouragement through this season. I know, or I hope, that one day soon I will feel better. I have a choice to wait anxiously for that day, and in many ways I am. But I can also press on. Persevere. Steady my faith.
Upon days of finding out I was pregnant Chris sent me out for some time in the word. At this point their seemed no end to my tears. Tears with reason, tears without. Before I left I went to Chris' bookshelf to find something to take and read along with my bible. Immediately I found a book called "Depression: A Stubborn Darkness" By Edward Welch. I opened up to see the chapter headings and there was one on perseverance. I grabbed it and off I went. I found this chapter profound and most helpful.
"In Scripture, the word "surrender" links you directly to "persevere, be patient in trials." This doesn't sound very liberating to be sure. "Hang in there," keep at it," "you can do it" are trite and unhelpful responses when offered by friends and family. It's as if they have nothing else to say, so they offer this "encouragement" just to say something... But remember once again that we cannot avoid God. All paths lead to him. If you are tempted to skip over his words on perseverance, remember that he is life. His words give life."
He then goes on to point out that in God's very character is perseverance. This was a new thought for me. I am well aware that I am called to persevere but have never meditated on the way God perseveres.
The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you... 2 Peter 3:9
For I endure scorn for your sake and shame covers my face. Ps 69:7
May the Lord direct your hearts into God's love and Christ's perseverance. 2 Thess. 3:5
Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfector of our faith, for the joy set before him endured the cross... Heb 12:2
Welch says, " All teaching on perseverance, patience, and endurance finds it's source in the character of God. Just as we love because he is love and he loved us before we knew him, so we persevere because he is perseverance and he has persevered with us throughout history."
I found this truth so encouraging. The Lord is not calling me to do something he hasn't done before. And for our Lord the trials and hardships were MUCH greater then my 1st trimester blues. Whatever trial you find yourself persevering in take heart knowing that our God has gone before us. Fail we will. But the Gospel is there. Jesus, our perfect sacrifice. Perfectly endured and persevered in our place, freeing us to press on in grace.
Friday, March 12, 2010
A Poem for my Baby
You are nausea.
You make chocolate look gross.
You put slow in my step.
And I hold my stomach close.
You are headaches.
You make me tired beyond belief.
You are constant heartburn.
You often bring me to my knees.
But today you become something new.
One that goes beyond this temporal view.
There it was steady and strong.
A beat that showed with such might,
You are life.
Worship the creator I did.
What an undeserving women I am for this gift.
I will endure and persevere.
For in seven short months you will be here.