A Shelter in the Time of Storm

I'm not sure there is a book that I have referenced more this past year then Paul Tripp's book, A Shelter in the time of storm. It is just so, so, rich with God's truth.

I feel like this quote sums up so beautifully of what the Lord has been teaching me this past year:

"I have learned and I am learning that the physical delights of the created world were not designed to be the source and hope of my confidence. No, all of those things in their temporary elegance were meant to be signposts that point me to the
eternal
never-failing
always available
never-changing
always holy
grace-infused
goodness that can only be found in you.
I have learned and I am learning that confident living always rests its foundation on You.

I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living! Psalm 27:13

My Life is but a Weaving

My husband shared this poem in a sermon he preached on Sunday.

My life is but a weaving between the lord and me
I cannot choose the colors he worketh steadily
Oft times he weaveth sorrow
And I in foolish pride
Forget he sees the upper
And I the underside

Not till the loom is silent and the shuttle cease to fly
Shall God unrole the canvas and explain the reason why
The dark threads are as needful in the weaver’s skillful hands
As the threads of gold and silver in the pattern He has planned

We just finished up a seven part series on the Life of Joesph. It has been outstanding and such a great reminder that God's sovereignty is ALWAYS working for the good of his people. He is always in control, always good, and always wise. Joesph sat in prison for TWENTY years waiting for God to move. Abandoned and betrayed by his brothers. Betrayed by Potipher's wife, forgotten by the chief baker. He sat and sat. And when the day came and prison was a thing of the past he stood face to face with his brothers, the ones who betrayed him and left him to die, he was eager to offer forgiveness. What an amazing story of repentance and forgiveness. Through it all Joesph trusted and clung to God's sovereignty. Oh I pray in times of waiting I will be found faithful.

Genesis 50:19
"But Joseph said to them, “Do not fear, for am I in the place of God? As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good."

Here's the link to the sermons on Joesph.
http://www.gracechurchaz.org/media_library

Forever

Chris was looking through some training material and found this from Tim Chester.

• Your suffering and your shame are for a moment. Your reward is forever.
• The location where you live now is for a moment. The place where you will live is forever.
• Your temptations and your sin are for a moment. Hell is forever.
• Your pride and your achievements are for a moment. God‘s glory is forever.
• Your career is for a moment. God‘s "Well done, good and faithful servant" is forever.
• Your love life is for a moment. Your union with Christ is forever.
• Your home now is for a moment. Your home in your heavenly Father‘s house is forever.
• Your money and possessions are for a moment. Your heavenly treasure is forever.
• Your bank account is for a moment. Your heavenly inheritance is forever.


It is good to remember what is fleeting and what is forever.

Follow Me

"And they follow me." John 10:27

We should follow our Lord—as unhesitatingly as sheep follow their shepherd, for He has a right to lead us wherever He pleases. We are not our own, we are bought with a price—let us recognize the rights of the redeeming blood. The soldier follows his captain, the servant obeys his master—much more must we follow our Redeemer, to whom we are a purchased possession.

We are not true to our profession of being Christians—if we question the bidding of our Leader and Commander. Submission is our duty—but caviling is our folly. Often might our Lord say to us as to Peter, "What is that to you? Follow you Me." Wherever Jesus may lead us—He goes before us. If we know not where we go, we know with whom we go. With such a companion, who will dread the perils of the road? The journey may be long—but His everlasting arms will carry us to the end.

The presence of Jesus is the assurance of eternal salvation, because He lives—we shall live also. We should follow Christ in simplicity and faith, because the paths in which He leads us—all end in glory and immortality. It is true, they may not be smooth paths—they may be covered with sharp flinty trials—but they lead to the "city which has foundations, whose builder and maker is God." "All the paths of the Lord are mercy and truth unto such as keep His covenant."

Let us put full trust in our Leader, since we know that, come prosperity or adversity, sickness or health, popularity or contempt—His purpose shall be worked out, and that purpose shall be pure, unmingled good to every heir of mercy. We shall find it sweet to go up the bleak side of the hill with Christ; and when rain and snow blow into our faces, His dear love will make us far more blessed than those who sit at home and warm their hands at the world's fire. To the top of Amana, to the dens of lions, or to the hills of leopards—we will follow our Beloved. Precious Jesus, draw us—and we will run after You!

Spurgeon, evening, 9.18

Perseverance

Perseverance
noun.
steady persistence in a course of action, a purpose, a state, etc., esp. in spite of difficulties, obstacles, or discouragement.

I've been at this pregnancy thing for 10 weeks now. I'm tired. Tired physically, but mostly tired of feeling sick all the time. Add in a couple migraines, an ear infection and constant indigestion, I'm ready to cry "uncle". But the Lord gave me a word at the very beginning of this pregnancy that has been such an encouragement through this season. I know, or I hope, that one day soon I will feel better. I have a choice to wait anxiously for that day, and in many ways I am. But I can also press on. Persevere. Steady my faith.

Upon days of finding out I was pregnant Chris sent me out for some time in the word. At this point their seemed no end to my tears. Tears with reason, tears without. Before I left I went to Chris' bookshelf to find something to take and read along with my bible. Immediately I found a book called "Depression: A Stubborn Darkness" By Edward Welch. I opened up to see the chapter headings and there was one on perseverance. I grabbed it and off I went. I found this chapter profound and most helpful.

"In Scripture, the word "surrender" links you directly to "persevere, be patient in trials." This doesn't sound very liberating to be sure. "Hang in there," keep at it," "you can do it" are trite and unhelpful responses when offered by friends and family. It's as if they have nothing else to say, so they offer this "encouragement" just to say something... But remember once again that we cannot avoid God. All paths lead to him. If you are tempted to skip over his words on perseverance, remember that he is life. His words give life."

He then goes on to point out that in God's very character is perseverance. This was a new thought for me. I am well aware that I am called to persevere but have never meditated on the way God perseveres.


The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you... 2 Peter 3:9

For I endure scorn for your sake and shame covers my face. Ps 69:7

May the Lord direct your hearts into God's love and Christ's perseverance. 2 Thess. 3:5

Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfector of our faith, for the joy set before him endured the cross... Heb 12:2

Welch says, " All teaching on perseverance, patience, and endurance finds it's source in the character of God. Just as we love because he is love and he loved us before we knew him, so we persevere because he is perseverance and he has persevered with us throughout history."

I found this truth so encouraging. The Lord is not calling me to do something he hasn't done before. And for our Lord the trials and hardships were MUCH greater then my 1st trimester blues. Whatever trial you find yourself persevering in take heart knowing that our God has gone before us. Fail we will. But the Gospel is there. Jesus, our perfect sacrifice. Perfectly endured and persevered in our place, freeing us to press on in grace.

Celebrate Jesus

Today I'm starting over in Comforts from the Cross, by Elyse Fitzpatrick. The women of Grace Church have been reviewing her messages together she gave at Gilbert back in April. They are just as outstanding as I remember and it has encouraged me to throw myself back into the Gospel and less on myself. How my soul needs to be reminded of it's truths.


"I think it's very easy for me to focus my attention on myself. I don't mean that I just sit around thinking about me and how wonderful I am (although I'm not about that!). No, I mean that I tend to focus my thought on my Christianity- how I'm doing, what I'm learning, how my prayer time was today, how I avoided that pesky sin or fell into it again. I think about what I'm supposed to accomplish for Christ, and I interact with others on that same works-oriented ground. But this day isn't about me at all. It's about him: his sinless life, death, resurrection, ascension, and reign and the sure promise of his return. It's the gravity of his life that should attract my thought toward him.

Plainly stated, let me encourage you to proclaim the gospel to yourself today and every day. Our poor burdened hearts are in such need of a gospel celebration. When you fail today, you need the comfort of this proclamation: he died for that very sin. Tell yourself about his death. When you feel overwhelmed by your responsibilities, remember that he is ruling sovereignly over every facet of your life, and soon he will return to right every wrong and relieve you of your trouble. When you wonder if you life will ever change, he wants you to remember that he is coming back and that this life as it is won't last forever. Make a proclamation! Celebrate! "I'm forgiven; he's paid the penalty for all my sin; he's my husband and soon he'll return to take me to our heavenly home!"

I pray today would be a celebration of the gospel!

Confessions of A Church Planters Wife

Church planting is thrilling, it's exciting, it's scary and sometimes it can try your faith. Ok, so sometimes it can try my faith. I think recently it's become more "real" that we've moved. I am thankful that I can visit my parents and friends without buying a plane ticket. But I've found that finding 2 1/2 hours of driving time in a day can also be hard to do. Especially in the midst of the demands of schooling and building new relationships here in the west valley, which is what I'm really called to be doing. So suddenly the thought, it's only a 1hr away, doesn't change the fact that Gilbert is no longer my home and well, there are days I still wish it was.

It's been about a year since the announcement of our church plant was made at our home church in Gilbert! Hard to believe. Since that time I've found fear and anxiety slowly creeping in. Suddenly I don't feel so secure. Even though the God I worship hasn't changed certainly something I had misplaced faith in did. And now I fear God would suddenly stop being God! "What if the church plant didn't succeed what would happen to us? We have three kids, a house payment!" What if, what if...

"Be Still and know that I am God"

I read recently that "Be Still" translates into "Be quiet". So I have fought to quiet my thoughts and dig deeper into finding my security and joy in Jesus alone. It's a fight some days I feel like I'm just beginning.

"if you have thrown your lot in with Jesus, everything he has is yours even the Kingdom itself. It would be impossible to ask for more!" Running Scared; Edward Welch


I think the number one question we get asked is "Are you growing?" This was brought to light again at our West Pastor's Retreat last week. It's a normal question. The very nature of church planting is adding to your number. We weren't a terribly big team to start with, so clearly for pure financial reasons we need to grow. But it doesn't help that this very question can reveal where I'm placing my hope. More people do not equal security. Each week I walk onto stage with the band and we begin our first song. Pretty much each week the fight in my head begins.

"Where are all the people? What happened to last weeks visitors, I thought they said they loved it and were coming back? No seriously... we have like 10 people here."

I worship and look at the hundreds of people outside of the Rio Vista Park and think how can we get all of them out there, in here?! Not so we can be a cool, happening, place, although I'm sure there's some of that in my heart but I know that God is a God who saves and I want to see his saving power displayed in our church! It's a battle and it's my battle. I've come to anticipate it, making it easier to fight but some weeks I'm weary of the fight and long for it to just go away. I know it's God's kindness that he won't let it "just go away".

"If your hope disappoints you, it is the wrong kind of hope. You see, hope in God never disappoints, precisely because it is hope in God. This means that hope placed in any other thing will always end up disappointing. When I place my hope in something, I am attaching my sense of well-being, identity, meaning and purpose to that thing in some way. In this way I "need" my hopes to become realities because I have connected my life to them" Quest For More; Tripp

"If your life is defined by how many of your little kingdom purposes you can realize, you will tend to be stressed, controlling, anxious, disappointed and fearful. You have defined your life by what you cannot control and by what God has not promised!"
Tripp

"Bad things certainly can and will happen but there is a resurrection ending. So your task is not to transform into a superficial sunny optimist. It is to grow to be an optimist by faith. The kingdom is advancing, God's reign is spreading, there will be justice and when we belong to Christ, it will end with joy!" Welch


The result of my fighting looks like this. I want to see God glorified in my life and in His church, the bride of Christ. If God sees it best to glorify himself by building Grace Church in the west side then so be it. If not he will make his plan clear when the time comes. Whatever his will is will be good and His best for my life. In the meantime I want to come alongside my husband and faithfully serve. I do not live for Grace Church, my joy is not found in Grace Church and my life as a Christian will not be defined by the success of Grace Church. At the end of the day I can only live for God's kingdom that will come. I am an imperfect person, going on an imperfect church plant with more imperfect people BUT I have the promises of God from His word that he WILL perfect his bride (the church) on the last day. I praise God for these truths. His love and acceptance of me is not based on my performance. It is a love that was and is secured in the birth, death and resurrection of Jesus Christ.


"Big kingdom hope is about entrusting my past, present and future, my identity, meaning and purpose, and my motivation for daily functioning to God and resting unafraid in him. Sure I will still face the disappointments of life in this fallen world. But, I will not panic, I will not run, and I will not quit, because my God is present even in my disappointment, and he will never change!" A Quest For More; Tripp

I will post a "real" update on Grace Church soon as there are many exciting ways in which the Lord is at work among us!

Rock Of Ages

Recently I've been thinking and praying a lot about security. As we embarked upon church planting my desire for security has only increased. The Lord keeps reminding me that security cannont and will not be found in this world. Only in Christ alone.

I've been listening to this song on repeat for the past few weeks. It's from Sandra's McCracken's Cd The Builder and The Architect. A friend recently gifted me the album and the whole cd has blessing! Wish I knew how to put the song on my blog but the lyrics alone are powerful.

Rock Of Ages

Rock of Ages, when the day seems long
from this labor and this heartache I have come
the skies will wear out but You remain the same
Rock of Ages, I praise Your name.

Rock of Ages, You have brought me near
You have poured out Your life blood, Your love, and Your tears
to make this stone heart come alive again
Rock of Ages, forgive my sin.

Rock of Ages, bind Your children until the kingdom comes
Rock of Ages, Your will be done.

Rock of Ages, when in want or rest
my desperate need for such a Savior I confess
and pry these idols out from my heart's embrace
Rock of Ages, I need Your grace.

Rock of Ages, broken, scorned for me
who am I that You would die to make me free?
to give me glory You took the death and the pain
Rock of Ages, my offering.

Rock of Ages bind Your children until the kingdom comes
Rock of Ages Your will be done.

Rock of Ages, it is done You cried
the curtains torn and I see justice satisfied
now write Your mercy here on my heart and hands
Rock of Ages, in faith I stand.

Rock of Ages, my great hope secure
Your promise holds just like an anchor to my soul
bind Your children with cords of love and grace
Rock of Ages, we give You praise.

Rock of Ages bind Your children until the kingdom comes
Rock of Ages, Your will be done. "

So thankful that I have a God who never changes. He remains the same. Rock of Ages let your will be done.

Safe

I've been reading through Comforts from the Cross, Celebrating the Gospel One Day at a Time by Elyse Fitzpatrick the past month. It's been outstanding food for my soul each morning as she helps her readers to apply the gospel in fresh ways.
A few days ago I read a section where she expounded on John 18:4-8

"Then Jesus, knowing all that would happen to him, came forward and said to them, "Whom do you seek? ... I told you that I am he. So, if you seek me, let theses men go."

Elyse says, "What a Savior we have! What a good shepherd! The wolves were circling, and he stepped forward, arms outstretched, keeping his little flock behind him. The wolves would attack; he would bear their attack himself. He would continue to guard them in ways amazing and unheard of. He bravely guarded their bodies; he would eve more courageously watch over and protect their souls."

"His great heart was filled with love, and this love empowered him to place himself between danger and those he cherished. Even though his friends weren't worthy of his protection, of his sacrifice for them, he was determined. Take me. Let them go. That's been his theme throughout all eternity. Take me. Punish me. Let them go. His love for us is our guarantee that we'll make it all the way to heaven. He interposed his body between the wrath of the religious leaders and his weak disciples; he interposed his precious blood between the righteous wrath of his father and his sinful bride. What a husband! What a Savior!"

"He sees your heart today. He know what you fear and how you continue to try to take matters into your own hand and protect yourself (so true). He sees when you cut off you enemy's ear, as Peter did, lashing out at those who threaten you, seeking to hurt them before they can hurt you. He sees when you flee naked into the night, hoping to hide yourself from failure, censure, disgrace, judgment. He sees when you swear that you don't know him, denying him by word or deed, afraid that you'll seem foolish or be persecuted. He knows when you fear the doctor's reports and try to ignore his voice speaking deeply, comfortingly to you. And yet he interposes himself between you and your enemies simply because he is determined not to lose one of those precious ones his Father has given to him!"

"Draw near to him today, won't you? He'll cover you with his strong arms and keep your soul safe. Don't hid; don't try to cover up. Just come as you are and thank him for his courageous love. "

I find it so freeing that I will make it to heaven not based on my works but on God's great love. So great that he said, "Take me. Punish me. Let her go." What a Savior!

A Precious Christ

God has been after a lot in my heart as of late. It's been a hard but good process. One thing that I can say that has happened in my soul is that Christ has become more precious. I praise God for his grace in allowing this to be so. I've been re-reading one of my favorite Octavius Winslow books, The Precious Things of God, during some of my devotional times. This section, long as it may be, sums up in some way what I feel like the Lord has been teaching me:

"There is a supremacy in the feeling of Christ's preciousness to the believer, which is worthy of a remark. Chris has the preeminence in the affections of the regenerate! "Whom have I in heaven but you? and there in none upon earth that I desire beside you." Listen to His own words, asserting His claim to a single and supreme affection: "whoever loves father or mother, brother or sister, wife or children, more than ME, is not worthy of Me." There are natural ties of affection- the parental, the marital, the filial. There are ties, too, of human love and friendship, linking heart to heart; but not one word does He who inspired those affections, who formed those ties, breathe, denying their existence or forbidding their exercise.

No the religion He came to inculcate distinctly recognized these human relations, and seeks to strengthen and intensify by purifying, elevating and immortalizing them. But mark the emphatic word employed by Christ- "MORE than ME!" All these affections are to have full play and exercise, but ever to be maintained in profound subordination to Himself... In a word, Christ should become more supreme and precious to our hearts by all the sweet, sacred relations and affections of life.

Christ is our life; and our growth in spiritual life is Christ increasing within us. It is utterly impossible to cherish a holy desire, to conceive a heavenly thought, to perform a good action, to conquer a single infirmity, or to baffle a solitary temptation, apart from a direct communication with Christ; as for the lungs to expand without air, or light to exist without the Sun. Oh, yes! Christ is increasingly precious to the believer. The absence from His beatific presence- distance from His blest abode- the vicissitudes of life- the fluctuations of time- the advance of infirmities- the increase of anxieties and cares- and the formation of new friendships, do not render the Savior less precious to the believing soul.

Other objects often lose their attraction, their desire to interest, or their power to charm us, by the lapse of years; but JESUS is that glorious object who grows more precious to the heart in time, as His capacity unfolds of making us supremely happy; and in eternity will become increasingly the object of our love, and the theme of our song, and the source of our bliss, as growing ages unveil His loveliness, His glory and His grace!

Well if you were able to hang with all of that I hope you were encouraged! I am so blessed to have parents I love deeply and friendships that are strong in the Lord. I'm thankful to God for them and his gift to me in giving me them. I'm so thankful that he has immortalized our relationships. I told my dearest friend, who I was so close to being neighbors with but due to our move to Peoria will not be, that I'm hopeful God will have our houses close together in heaven. But as I pack everything up again for our big move to Peoria, what I am most thankful for is that Christ has become more precious to my soul. How I long to be nearer to Him, to give my life away to Him, to know Him in deeper ways through the study of His word and long for the day when I will be with Him face to face.

A Roller Coaster Ride

I've never liked roller coasters. I don't enjoy the ups or the downs, twists and upside down turns. I don't even like the nice smooth parts because you know from watching others go before you that you are going to be dropped any mintue and the smoothness will be no more. Recently we went to Disney World's Animal Kingdom. There was a ride a new ride there called Expedition Everest (see picture above)


"Careening into the darkness, you might get a glimpse of the denizen of this icy domain. Nail-biting hairpin turns hurl you forward and down sudden drops on the mountain slopes in a race to escape."

Sound like fun? Not to me. No thank you sir. I'll take the boat ride that's calm and quiet with some cute little animals that you can admire along the way. Not real animals cause they can go CRAZY on you and eat your head off when your not looking. I like fake, little, animals that look real but you know there not so well, your safe. But here we are at Animal Kingdom and my husband comes to me with this gleam in his eye saying "I've got an extra fast pass!?" Knowing this chance may never come again, I take the pass thankful that it'll at least be fast and I won't have too much time standing in line to plan out all the many ways I could die. I get on, take the ride and lived.

Almost a year ago my husband came to me with that same gleam in his eye and said "Honey let's plant a church." He had said this many times before but I knew this time he meant it. Fasten the safety bar, let the ride begin. Along the way I'm tempted to think about all the many ways this ride could fail. The hurt that could come by getting on. It's not safe for sure. However, I'm thankful that this roller coaster isn't run by some teenage kid completely unaware of what's at stake if this ride was to fail me. No it is run by my faithful loving Father. He has gone before me in every twist and turn and when I'm going through the dark tunnel unable to see what's coming next, He promises me that darkness is as light to him. He sees. He knows. He provides.

even the darkness is not dark to you;
the night is bright as the day,
for darkness is as light with you Psalm 139

He has also promised ultimate safety. My eternal home with him will never be taken away or put in jeopardy. He will lead me there, granted it'll be a roller coaster ride but I will arrive one day in the presence of my King. I do not know what this church plant's future will be but I know that I would regret it if I had said, "No thank you sir, I'll stay here on the nice, safe ride. Go on without me".

Thank you Chris for giving me the joy to take this ride with you. I'm excited to see God's faithfulness meet us at each and every twist and turn.

A Helper In Progress

*my lovely mascara that rylee found this morning and decorated her eyes and hands with

This picture pretty much sums up my week :) Complete with many more memorable moments. Like on weds when Trevor yelled in the face of my new neighbor because she told her son that it was time to go in. Trevor apparently didn't like the news of his new playmate having to go in and right in front of my very eyes screamed "NOOOOO!!!" in her face. Great way to introduce yourself to your neighbors. Well I took him inside quickly for discipline and left him in his room to give him a chance to regain some self control. Meanwhile I come out, say goodbye to my neighbor and put rylee in the car instructing her to get in her seat and buckle up. I run in to grab trevor, and come out a few seconds later to find that Rylee had managed to close the automatic door and look herself in, with my purse & keys inside. Nice. Learned THAT lesson the hard way. So Taylor and I talked with Rylee for 5 minutes pointing and motioning where she needed to "unlock" the door. She'd kept locking the door over and over and I'd say no "lower" so she'd go down to the floor looking for the button. My mind was racing as to what to do. Fire department? Call my dad? I was just thankful that it wasn't in the middle of a hot AZ summer. So I stopped and prayed and sure enough within moments she was back at the lock button and happened upon the unlock button instead. This is all in front of my other new neighbors who live across the street and leave their screen door open all day listening to the world outside. I'm sure I was quite the sight. Kind of like this morning while I'm in the restroom and I hear trevor yell, "Rylee is outside!!" So there I am again, in front of this screen door, running in my PJ's with a child who just keeps running farther away from me.

It's not easy being a mom. It's not easy being a mom when your husband is out of town for five days. Chris left monday to take a class at the Pastor's College. There were times early on in our marriage where I would be overcome with fear when trips for Chris drew near. Not being the quiet type I would often voice my "fears" in a sinful way to my husband. Making him feel "oh so great" for leaving town, essentially for doing his job. Over time the Lord has convicted me of my sinful attitude and with each passing trip and by his grace I can see growth in trusting the Lord for Chris' extended times away.

This last weekend I had the privilege of attending a Susan Hunt conference. It was amazing and I'm sure will be the source of many blog posts to come. Being a helper as defined by scripture was one of many topics she covered. Helper in the bible is the Hebrew word ezer as seen in Gen 2:18. "Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” In the Old Testament the same word ezer often refers to God as our Helper. What a thought! I have the opportunity to be Christ- like in my role as a helper to my husband. She gave us a list, not exhaustive, of ways the word describes God as helper:
Defends- Ex 18:4
Sees and Cares for suffering- Psalm 10:14
Supports- Psalm 20:2
Protects- Psalm 33:20
Delivers from distress- Psalm 70:5
Rescues- Psalm 72:12-14
Comforts- Psalm 86:17

I can't think of a better way to prepare for a week alone then being washed by the word. Going into the week I had the chance to be a helper to Chris by joyfully embracing his call as a Pastor and seeing and supporting this trip as a means to help him in his role. He went to be taught by Andreas Kostenberger who has written commentaries on the book of John. Which happens to be the first book Chris preaches through for our church plant in Peoria. So in a sense not only did I have the chance to be a helper to my husband but to our Peoria church as well. What an amazing opportunity! When I embrace my role as helper, I am free to release my husband with joy, not begrudgingly, and pray for him while he is gone. I am also free to laugh at those funny moments of insanity that come and go all week, instead of resenting my husband for being gone. God's grace is sufficient for each and every circumstance that I encounter and I can say with joy that His grace has been sufficient for me this week!

Sadly, as I have confessed, my attitude has not always been one of a joyful helper. I am thankful that I am forgiven and helped by THE perfect helper, God. There are implications reaching in these scriptures that far surpass this trip. I'm excited to see how the Lord uses Susan's teaching and His word to encourage my growth in biblical womanhood! And I'm also excited to have my husband return home tonight :)

Looking To Jesus

I can look to a lot of things inside of me or circumstances I find myself in moment by moment to define my faith. I'm so thankful that I do not need to rely on the ever changing world around me or my sinful nature that falls short daily to define my faith. I can look up to the perfecter and author of it all!

"Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith." Hebrews 12:2

If, then, your faith is feeble and tried, do not be cast down. Faith does not save you; though it be an instrument of salvation, and, as such, is of vast importance, it is but the instrument. The finished work of Immanuel is the ground of your salvation, yes, it is your salvation itself. Then, make not a savior of your faith; despise it not if it is feeble, exult not in it if it is strong, trample not on it if it is small, deify it not if it is great: such are the extremes to which every believer is exposed. If your faith is feeble and sharply tried, it is no evidence that you are not a believer; but the evidence of your acceptance in the Beloved is to arise from Jesus alone; then let your constant motto be, "looking unto Jesus;" looking to Him just as you are; looking unto Him when faith is feeble; looking unto Him when faith is tried; looking unto Him when faith is declining; yes, looking unto Him when you fear you have no faith. Look up, tried and tempted soul! Jesus is the Author, the Sustainer, and He will become the Finisher of your faith. All you need is in Him; one glimpse, dim though it be, of His cross, one touch, trembling though it be, of His garment, will lift you from your lowest depths, lighten your heaviest burden, gild your darkest prospect, and when you arrive at Jordan's brink, will bear you safely through its swellings, and land you on the sunny and verdant shores of Canaan.

Do Not Fear

I read this in my devotion time this morning and was convicted by how often my first response to trials or mountains shaking is fear and not a calm peace that God is over it all.

God is our refuge and strength,
a very present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way,
though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea,
though its waters roar and foam,
though the mountains tremble at its swelling.

There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
the holy habitation of the Most High.
God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved;
God will help her when morning dawns.
The nations rage, the kingdoms totter;
he utters his voice, the earth melts.
The Lord of hosts is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.

Come, behold the works of the Lord,
how he has brought desolations on the earth.
He makes wars cease to the end of the earth;
he breaks the bow and shatters the spear;
he burns the chariots with fire.
“Be still, and know that I am God.
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth!”
The Lord of hosts is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.


"The very hairs of your head are all numbered. (Matt 10:30) This verse literally means what it says. God's wisdom and knowledge are so great that He even knows the number of hairs on your head. His providence descends to the minute dust particles in a summer storm. He numbers the gnats in the sunshine and the fish in the sea. He controls the massive planets that shine in the heavens, and He deals with the teardrops that trickle from your eyes. He who supports the dignity of His throne in the splendor of heaven maintains it in the depths of the dark sea. There is nothing above, under, or around you that is not determined by His counsel and will.

I am not a fatalist, but I strictly hold to the doctrine that God has decreed all things that come to pass and that he rules over all things for HIs glory and good. What have we to fear? The unbeliever looks at the lightning and is apprehensive, but the Christian believes that it follows a predestined path, and he contemplates it with confidence. At sea, when the waves dash against a ship and toss it to and fro, some panic because they think that this is all chance. But believers see order in the waves. They hear music in the wind and are at peace because the tempest is in God's hand. Why then should we fear?

In all this world's convulsions, in all temporary distress and danger, we can remain calm, collected, and boldly say with confidence, " I Know God is here and all this is working for my good." Therefore we will not fear, even though the earth be removed and though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea; though it's waters roar and be troubled, though the mountains shake with it's swelling" Think on these things. " Beside Still Waters

"I the Lord do not change"

We live in a world that constantly changes. Turn on the news and the outlook for the world changes day by day. Economy might get better, it might not, it could be worse than the great depression. How bleak our outlook if lived by the news. I'm thankful in my world that's changing that I can go to God's word. Something that will never change. And find that I serve a God that changes not. What glorious truth!


"...Turn we, now, to what is the testimony of revealed scripture. That testimony, though uttered in many ways, may be comprised in the one assertion, "I the Lord do not change" (Mal. 3:6). Glorious truth! To think, as imagination wings its flight from everlasting to everlasting, that in the existence of the Being whose lifetime is eternity, there has been no "variableness"—that He was the same before the world was; that He is the same now; and will be the very same, ages and ages after the angel has stood on the wreck of matter and proclaimed "Time to be no longer"—as perfect at the present moment as He can be when an "eternity of eternity" shall have rolled by.

But in what ways may this unchangeableness of God be regarded as a 'Palm of Elim,' imparting a sense of rest and refreshment to those encamping under its shadow? Comforting doctrine, it undoubtedly is. It leads us, among other reflections, to feel assured of His certain foreknowledge of all events—that whatever happens to us must be ordained by Him; and that the fitful changes in a changing world—our relations to one another, our domestic and social ties, our joys and our sorrows, are ordained, watched, and controlled by Him, who sits enthroned alike amid the radiant sunshine and above and behind the cloud-lands of life; bringing good out of seeming evil, order out of apparent confusion; overruling all (ALL), for His own glory and for the best interests of His Church.

He is spoken of as "the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows" (James 1:17). "This," observes an eminent Christian of a former age, commenting on the words, "is His disposition. An act of love may be very kind, but there is no security for the future. But when the disposition is love—unchanging love—all must be loving because He is love—all must be wise because He is wisdom." "Because God," says the inspired writer of the Epistle to the Hebrews, "wanted to make the unchanging nature of His purpose very clear to the heirs of what was promised, He confirmed it with an oath. God did this so that, by two unchangeable things in which it is impossible for God to lie, we who have fled to take hold of the hope offered to us may be greatly encouraged" (Heb. 4:17, 18).

There is a view of this peerless truth connected with our motto-verse, pre-eminently comforting, to which we have not yet turned our attention. The passage of which that verse forms a part, has, by Scriptural warrant (Heb. 1:10-12) a special application to the adorable Person in the sacred Trinity, who is pre-eminently the PALM under whose shadow His Pilgrim Israel repose. Christ, the God-man Mediator, may be supposed (in vers. 23-27) to address His Divine Father—"In the course of My life He broke my strength; He cut short My days. So I said: 'Do not take Me away, O My God, in the midst of My days.'" Then follows the Father's answer—"Your years go on through all generations. In the beginning You laid the foundations of the earth; and the heavens are the work of Your hands. They will perish, but You remain; they will all wear out like a garment. Like clothing you will change them and they will be discarded. But You remain the same, and Your years will never end" (vers. 24-2 7). Yes, of Jesus, wearing our glorified human nature—the sympathies of a refined and exalted humanity, we can say, "You are the same."

The absolute unchangeableness of God we could take little hold of —it is high, we cannot attain to it. But "the Man Christ Jesus"—the same as He lived and moved and suffered and died on earth; the same in His compassion, in His words of mercy, in His messages of love, in His tenderness to the penitent, the fearful, the doubting; in His sympathy with the bereaved and lonely; and who no longer with tears to shed, has still the heart to feel—Oh, when the spirit is torn with sorrow, and wounded with thoughts into which the cold world cannot enter; when estrangement severs brother from brother and friend from friend; where can the eye peacefully repose but on this unchanging One? "BUT YOU are the same!" Truly this is "an anchor of the soul, sure and steadfast," for it "enters within the veil!"

Change is our portion here in this present world. The Psalmist in this passage points to the starry heavens above, and the apparently immovable, immutable foundations of the earth beneath, and inscribes on them the record, "They will perish. Like clothing You will change them and they will be discarded" (as a worn-out garment which the Almighty Maker lays aside, as for no more use). When everything within and around us may be echoing the same sad verdict, it is blessed to be able to turn from the unstable to the stable; from the reed which the blast may bend and the hurricane shiver, to the Great living ROCK which spurns the storm and defies all change! In a word, to lay firm grasp on the glorious antithesis of Israel's Kingly Minstrel. It is God in contrast with man; Immutability in contrast with mutability, the Infinite with the finite, the mortal with the Immortal, Eternity with time. "But You are the same!"
John MacDuff

He is Good

Some dear friends of ours came over this week to help me with my soul. How good it is to have faithful friends. I was presented with the question: Do you believe that God is good in this very thing that you are struggling with? It's one thing to believe God will work all things out for good or what man meant for evil God will use for good. But do I believe that God, in allowing these certain hardships or unmet expectations, IS God being good to me. It's done my soul much good to meditate on this truth.

"My soul! be still! you are in the hands of your Covenant God. Were all the strange circumstances in your history the result of accident, or chance, you might well be overwhelmed. But "all things," and this thing (be what it may) which may be now disquieting you, is one of these "all things" that are so working mysteriously for your good. Trust your God! He will not deceive you—your interests are with Him in safe custody. When sight says, "All these things are against me," let faith rebuke the hasty conclusion, and say, "Shall not the Judge of all the earth do right?" How often does God hedge up your way with thorns, to elicit simple trust! How seldom can we see all things so working for our good! But it is better discipline to believe it. Oh! for faith amid frowning providences, to say, "I know that your judgments are good;" and, relying in the dark, to exclaim, "Though He slays me, yet will I trust Him!"

Blessed Jesus! to You are committed the reins of this universal empire. The same hand that was once nailed to the cross, is now wielding the scepter on the throne—"all power in heaven and in earth is given unto you." How can I doubt the wisdom, and the faithfulness, and love, of the most mysterious earthly dealing, when I know that the Roll of Providence is thus in the hands of Him who has given the mightiest pledge Omnipotence could give of His tender interest in my soul's well-being, by giving Himself for me?" John MacDuff, The Faithful Promiser

Tis So Sweet

"Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus, Just to take Him at His word,
Just to rest upon His promise, Just to know "Thus saith the Lord.

O how sweet to trust in Jesus, Just to trust His cleansing blood,
Just in simple faith to plunge me "Neath the healing cleansing flood!

Yes, tis sweet to trust in Jesus, Just from sin and self to cease.
Just from Jesus simply taking, life and rest and joy and peace.

Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him! How I've proved Him o'er and o'er!
Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus! O for Grace to trust Him more!

I'm so glad I learned to trust Him, Precious Jesus, Savior, Friend;
and I know that He is with me, will be with me to the end.

Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus! O for Grace to trust Him more!"

Losing One's Will

I recently began re-reading Elizabeth's Prentiss biography "More Love To Thee" by Sharon James. Early on in the book her father, Edward Payson passes away and on his death bed says these words:

" O what a blessed thing it is to lose one's will. Since I have lost my will I have found happiness. There can be no such things as disappointment to me, for I have no desires but that God's will might be accomplished. Christians might avoid much trouble if they would only believe what they profess, that God is able to make them happy without anything but Himself. They imagine that if such a dear friend were to die, or such and such a blessing removed, they should be miserable, whereas God can make them a thousand times happier without them. To mention my own case, God has been depriving me of one blessing after another, but as every one was removed He has come in and filled up it's place, and now, when I am cripple and unable to move, I am happier than ever I was in my life before or expected to be, and if I had believed this twenty year ago I might have been spared much anxiety."

Oh how far away I am from this man! I do desire to have this kind of faith & satisfaction found in Christ alone. How much trouble indeed would I spare myself from if I were to live this out.

Grace in Weaning of the World

I read a great sermon this week on Grace Gems. Entitled The Power of Grace in Weaning the Heart from the World. Being weaned from the world has been a theme of mine for the past year. Something I feel the Lord keeps bringing me back to meditate on.

In one section He asks the question,"How may I know whether my soul is under the weanings of God? How may I know whether I am weaned from the world or not?"

Answer:

1. To have heavenly affections amidst earthly possessions—this is a sign of a weaned heart.

2. To reckon our happiness, our riches, rather from divine comforts than from any worldly comfort; this is a sign of an heart under the weanings of God. David was a king, a great man; but he does not reckon this his happiness. No, but from his interest in God. Psalm 16:5, "Lord, you alone are my portion, and my cup of blessing." And what then? "The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance."

3. What do you most desire? What do you most hunger after? this shows whether we are weaned from the world, or not. Now, what is it—which quiets our minds, which satisfies our desires best? If it is worldly pleasures, worldly comforts, worldly honors, etc. then our hearts are not weaned.

4. To bear worldly evils, worldly troubles, worldly losses—with a holy quietness and satisfaction of spirit; this is a sign of a weaned heart.

5. To choose holiness with affliction and loss—rather than sin with pleasure and preferment; this is a sign of a weaned heart.

6. To be able by faith to overcome all the smiles and frowns of the world—this is another sign of a weaned heart. Now can you do this? When the world smiles upon us with its splendors, honors, riches, pleasures, delights and glories—can you then look upon all these as base and abject things—in comparison of Christ?

Or, when the world frowns upon us with crosses, losses, sufferings, reproaches, etc. Can we then overcome it by laying aside carnal fear, by patience in tribulation, by looking upon afflictions and sufferings for Christ—as our honor and happiness; by eyeing the invisible God in all, as Moses did?

"Is not this our case? May we not fear it is? For if we are weaned from the world—why do we doat upon it? Why are we so fond of worldly things? Why do we conform so much to the world, and study the foolish fashions of the world? If we are weaned from the world—why is our joy and grief so great, and proportioned to present comforts, or present losses? Surely therefore we have cause enough to fear—that our hearts are not yet under the weanings of God."

Such great questions to ask myself! I pray for more & more weaning to occur. Heaven and knowledge of Christ is truly more sweeter than anything the world has to offer.

This past weekend at Renewed, Steve Shank and my husband Chris preached messages on these topics. You can find the messages here. Session 2 & 4.

Thankful for 30

This weekend I turned... I can't even say it :) As a kid 30 seemed so old. Now that I AM 30 I realize it's far from old. I still in many ways feel like the kid at 21 who got married and started having babies. But it wouldn't be right to not look back and marvel at the grace of God on my life. Because In almost every way I'm nothing like the kid at 21 who got married and started having babies. And the fact that I am in any way different is only by the grace of God & His Spirit bringing His word alive to my soul. One thing I desired at 21, that remains the same today is, to bring glory to God in every possible way in my short life on earth. Looking back, I can see now how God can used the experiences of my Twenties to bring about change.


- I couldn't learn how to be a submissive, respectful wife to the man I loved with all my heart until I was actually married and realized how deficient I was in those areas.
- I couldn't receive the grace that came with motherhood (sleepless nights, tantrums, loving someone so much you thought your heart would explode) until being a mother.
- I couldn't learn the joy and thrill of church planting until planting a church with a group of dear friends.
- I could never have learned the faithfulness of God in trials until I watched the church explode and those dear friends be no more.
- I couldn't learn the empty promises of this world until I lived long enough to see that nothing of this world truly satisfies. It's one thing to know that's true as a young women - it's another to actually see and experience things of this world fall away and come up empty in my soul. This makes my heart proclaim- Only HE satisfies, only His word brings life to my soul.

Add in new friends, a new church to love, more children and God renewing my faith and desire to plant a church again and I'm entering my thirties. If given the chance, there would be things I would not write into these past ten years. But looking back and tasting and seeing the goodness of God, I would not change a thing.

I expect and know that God will continue his faithfulness till my days on earth come to an end. I expect to grow in my walk with the Lord in new ways this next decade as He continues to bring about sanctification in my life. I expect God to use each and every circumstance, life changes, and trials to point me back to the Savior! I am now much closer to heaven at 30 then I was at 20.

For all of these reasons and more, I am a thankful and blessed 30 year old woman.

Are you not at this hour a monument of God's faithfulness? Where would you have been, had not the magnet of His grace kept you, and drawn your fugitive affections towards Himself? From how many temptations has He rescued you- laying hold of you on the precipice, when about to plunge headlong down; employing, sometimes constraining grace, at other times, restraining grace- making this your brief history– "Kept by the power of God," and overruling all- ALL for His own glory, and your own good? John MacDuff, Night Watches