A Helper In Progress

*my lovely mascara that rylee found this morning and decorated her eyes and hands with

This picture pretty much sums up my week :) Complete with many more memorable moments. Like on weds when Trevor yelled in the face of my new neighbor because she told her son that it was time to go in. Trevor apparently didn't like the news of his new playmate having to go in and right in front of my very eyes screamed "NOOOOO!!!" in her face. Great way to introduce yourself to your neighbors. Well I took him inside quickly for discipline and left him in his room to give him a chance to regain some self control. Meanwhile I come out, say goodbye to my neighbor and put rylee in the car instructing her to get in her seat and buckle up. I run in to grab trevor, and come out a few seconds later to find that Rylee had managed to close the automatic door and look herself in, with my purse & keys inside. Nice. Learned THAT lesson the hard way. So Taylor and I talked with Rylee for 5 minutes pointing and motioning where she needed to "unlock" the door. She'd kept locking the door over and over and I'd say no "lower" so she'd go down to the floor looking for the button. My mind was racing as to what to do. Fire department? Call my dad? I was just thankful that it wasn't in the middle of a hot AZ summer. So I stopped and prayed and sure enough within moments she was back at the lock button and happened upon the unlock button instead. This is all in front of my other new neighbors who live across the street and leave their screen door open all day listening to the world outside. I'm sure I was quite the sight. Kind of like this morning while I'm in the restroom and I hear trevor yell, "Rylee is outside!!" So there I am again, in front of this screen door, running in my PJ's with a child who just keeps running farther away from me.

It's not easy being a mom. It's not easy being a mom when your husband is out of town for five days. Chris left monday to take a class at the Pastor's College. There were times early on in our marriage where I would be overcome with fear when trips for Chris drew near. Not being the quiet type I would often voice my "fears" in a sinful way to my husband. Making him feel "oh so great" for leaving town, essentially for doing his job. Over time the Lord has convicted me of my sinful attitude and with each passing trip and by his grace I can see growth in trusting the Lord for Chris' extended times away.

This last weekend I had the privilege of attending a Susan Hunt conference. It was amazing and I'm sure will be the source of many blog posts to come. Being a helper as defined by scripture was one of many topics she covered. Helper in the bible is the Hebrew word ezer as seen in Gen 2:18. "Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” In the Old Testament the same word ezer often refers to God as our Helper. What a thought! I have the opportunity to be Christ- like in my role as a helper to my husband. She gave us a list, not exhaustive, of ways the word describes God as helper:
Defends- Ex 18:4
Sees and Cares for suffering- Psalm 10:14
Supports- Psalm 20:2
Protects- Psalm 33:20
Delivers from distress- Psalm 70:5
Rescues- Psalm 72:12-14
Comforts- Psalm 86:17

I can't think of a better way to prepare for a week alone then being washed by the word. Going into the week I had the chance to be a helper to Chris by joyfully embracing his call as a Pastor and seeing and supporting this trip as a means to help him in his role. He went to be taught by Andreas Kostenberger who has written commentaries on the book of John. Which happens to be the first book Chris preaches through for our church plant in Peoria. So in a sense not only did I have the chance to be a helper to my husband but to our Peoria church as well. What an amazing opportunity! When I embrace my role as helper, I am free to release my husband with joy, not begrudgingly, and pray for him while he is gone. I am also free to laugh at those funny moments of insanity that come and go all week, instead of resenting my husband for being gone. God's grace is sufficient for each and every circumstance that I encounter and I can say with joy that His grace has been sufficient for me this week!

Sadly, as I have confessed, my attitude has not always been one of a joyful helper. I am thankful that I am forgiven and helped by THE perfect helper, God. There are implications reaching in these scriptures that far surpass this trip. I'm excited to see how the Lord uses Susan's teaching and His word to encourage my growth in biblical womanhood! And I'm also excited to have my husband return home tonight :)