Sunday, May 15, 2011

Goodbye Grandma

My Grandma's health has been failing slowly over the year and it became increasingly apparent this week that her time was coming to an end. She was rushed to the hospital again on Thursday morning only to awake and ask that no more intervention be done. Grandma was done. She was transferred to Hospice care and passed away this morning with two of her three sons by her side. My dad being one of them. I am grateful that the Lord gave us a few more days, as I was given a chance to write a goodbye letter to her on Thursday. I so wish I could have been there and told her in person but it wasn't the Lord's will. I'm am certain she got to read it and my dad read it to her again last night.

My Grandma was a reader of my blog and I feel like in sharing this letter, one will get a small glimpse into the wonderful lady she was. Truly to know her was to be impacted by her. I miss her already.

My Dear Sweet Grandma,
Well I have heard that you have decided “no more needles” Can’t say I blame you. You have suffered so much recently, needles, surgeries, and constant dialysis. I am grateful for how long you have fought to live but it seems as if I may not be able to see you again here on this earth and I still have a few things I want to say. I would call you but I fear I would be a crying fool and you probably wouldn’t have any of it. And heck you might just get fed up with my rambling and turn your hearing aid off. I don’t want to take that risk ☺
I wanted to tell you how much I love you. Hopefully there is no doubt but you have always been one of my favorite people here on this earth. Your smile lights up the room, your contagious laugh and upbeat positive attitude have always encouraged me. You are also one of the funniest people I know. I LOVE your sense of humor. Grandma you have always put others needs in front of your own. I am SO thankful that you came to my high school graduation and were there on my wedding day. Who in their right mind would ask their grandma to come to AZ in the middle of the summer to watch them get married. Wow. That’s a sacrifice ☺ I will forever be grateful that you were there to witness and celebrate one of the biggest days of my life.

I know you haven’t had it easy. Now a mom of four, my respect for you has only increased. I don’t know how you raised three kids, boys nonetheless, all on your own. What an amazing job you did too. Your boys are wonderful, caring men! My dad is also one of my favorite people here on this earth and I know his character reflects the hard work you put into raising him. I can’t imagine how hard it was for you to drop him off the curb so he could hitch-hike to AZ at 18. As a mom, I can’t imagine how hard that was for you! I am grateful for that hard decision as God’s hand was on my dad’s life. I know I would not be here had he not come to AZ let alone my precious children. God has known and seen all along the sacrifices you made for your boys. They will not be forgotten! I am eager for you to hear “Well done my good and faithful servant” from the Lord when he greets you in Heaven. And what a wonderful day it will be for you to be face to face before the Lord, knowing that you can only come into heaven because of the sacrifice Jesus Christ made on the cross for your sins, ALL of our sins. I often think back on my life and think of things I could’ve done better, things I wish I had done better and I am reminded that God loves me, not because I do good things, but because he sent his son to die for my sins. That is where my hope is placed. So fight off any doubts you might have Grandma! When God is your savior he will bring you home to him in his perfect timing. I already await the day where I can be reunited with you. I am so thankful that, for Christians, there is no permanent goodbye. I would be in utter despair if that was the case.
So Grandma I am praying for you. Praying you would not suffer much that God would give you peace and joy in Christ. Everyone in our church is praying for you. So MANY are praying for you. I love you with all of my heart Grandma Jones. Thank you for all the love and support you have given me all of my life. Oh how I will miss you but I’ll take good, good care of your great grandchildren and they will always know what a wonderful Grandma you are! And don’t worry our “spiked” tea party as a child will always be our secret ☺
Hoping in God,

"Think, Christian believer, of seeing your Savior, and beholding your King in His beauty. Faith will be at last swallowed up in sight and hope in certainty. Think of the many loved ones gone before you and of the happy meeting between you and them. You are not going to a foreign country; you are going home. You are not going to dwell amongst strangers, but amongst friends. You will find them all safe, all well, all ready to greet you, all prepared to join in one unbroken song of praise. Then let us take comfort and persevere. With such prospects before us, we may well cry, “It is worth while to be a Christian!” JC Ryle


Tiffany said...

Tara, that was a beautiful post. I am so sorry for your grief and yet rejoicing with you that she is home now, no longer suffering. I love you! And am praying for God's specific comfort for your family.

sandy said...

I am so sorry for your loss Tara. We will be praying for your entire family. Love you sweet girl.


CarrieLovesKeith said...

Oh, Tara, I'm so sorry for your loss! Thanks for sharing this post, though. What a beautiful tribute to her and how that must have blessed her to read those words. We will be praying for you, and are thankful with you that one day you will see her again because of Jesus!

Kathy Lambros said...

Thanks for sharing such beautiful memories of your grandmothers inspires me to be that kind of grandmother!