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The last 3 1/2 years can be summed up like this:
We're most definitely done having children.
Well maybe not definitely.
Let's just pray about it for awhile.
Let's go ahead and give it to the Lord and see if we get pregnant.
Not pregnant, not pregnant, not pregnant...
Let's stop trying for awhile. We have peace we tried and his answer was no.
We're done. Yep done.
uh, babe, we're pregnant.
It was quite the surprise for the both of us. Maybe more so for Chris. I had five days to wonder but I didn't bring him in on my wondering. It's taken 4 pregnancies to learn that my husband prefers to be brought in on the wondering. Rather then my, "Surprise".
The week itself was crazy. It started off with a bad case of the stomach flu. I was in bed Monday & Tuesday. And yes it really was the stomach flu and not the pregnancy. We went to a block party and a little kid there had it the night before and consequently almost everyone on the block got some form of it. Wednesday, I get a call from my mom who left her scheduled heart dr. appointment. She called with some less then great news. Her Doctor was talking seriously about open heart surgery. Something that has kind of loomed in her future for quite some time now. But this time in addition to her three vales needing replaced, her aorta was enlarged too. More tests needed to be done to confirm. So I prayed, cried, begged with God for his will for her life to be done. And that at the end of the day that his will would be for her to be healed and live. Then, what served as a beautiful distraction from it all, I was throwing a large bridal shower for my friend Luz. In the back of my mind I knew I was late. Each passing day had me wondering. But I'd been late before and I knew that there was no reason why I would be pregnant. We weren't trying. On a whim I bought a test. I took it in the afternoon, walked away and fully expected to come back and confirm that I was indeed not pregnant. I was wrong. There were two lines, clear as day. Looking back I think I would've been better served to have waited till after the weekend was over. After I had a chance to recover a little more from the flu and catch up on life. After I knew that the next test would reveal my mom's aorta isn't in as bad shape as they originally thought and they would wait another year before discussing surgery again. There probably would've been less tears.
All of that being said, we are truly excited to have another child! What the pregnancy has revealed more then anything these past couple of weeks is my selfishness. Upon the confirmed test I was quickly aware of how life would change and how easy life had become having children who sleep through the night, dress themselves and wipe themselves :) I use the word easy loosely. There's nothing easy about staying home with three kids AND homeschooling. But having done it before I also know how fast babies grow. I am purposing myself to treasure each and every moment. Every kick, hiccup, the delivery, first smile, laugh and all the things that are gone before you know it. In a blink of an eye this child will join the older three in doing big kid things! Of course this nausea and tiredness could go away just a tad bit faster...
It's strange to think that this child might grow up only knowing this house and this side of Phoenix. Of course we will quickly introduce him or her to all of our friends and special places we love on the east side but this child will forever be our west side baby.