Friday, April 07, 2006


It's been awhile since I've posted. Last I left sick & thankfully I return well! It took it's toll on me but as many of my mommy friends know life doesn't stop when you get sick. The days of staying in bed watching old movies and eating chicken noodle soup are long gone. But like I expected God was faithful & I was met with much Grace throughout the week. And I'm happy to report that I think my house is back in order after sustaining much kid damage.

It has been quite a week of encountering suffering. Not so much for myself as for others in my life. One friend having to wait longer than expected to get pregnant, another friend miscarried & another received a grievious diagnosis for her baby. All very sobering & humbling. Meanwhile my mom went to the ER Saturday night and was admited to the hospital a few days due to her heart acting up. These are lifelong heart problems and thankfully she is home but continues to wrestle with the realities of having chronic health conditions and the desire to be healthy and "normal" like others her age. Yes sometimes it's hard to reconcile trials with what we know to be a good & loving God. I have struggled through this issue for many years watching my mom suffer. The timing on the Girl Talk blog doing experts from John Piper's new book, Suffering & The Sovereignty of God, was perfect. I only wish I didn't have to wait till September to purchase it. I was particularly encouraged by Joni Eareckson Tada's excerpt:

Please know that I am no expert at this wheelchair thing. I’m no professional at being a quadriplegic. There are so many mornings when I wake up and I can hear my girlfriend come to the front door to help me get out of bed and get ready for the day. She goes to the kitchen, turns on the water, and starts brewing coffee. I know that in a few moments she’s going to come gliding into the bedroom, where she’ll greet me with a happy, “Good morning!” And I am lying there with my eyes closed, thinking, O God, I can’t do this. I am so tired. I don’t know how I’m going to make it to lunchtime. O God, I’m already thinking about how good it’s going to feel when I get back to bed tonight and put my head on this pillow.

I’m sure you have felt that way at some point. Maybe you feel that way every morning. But Psalm 10:17 says, “O LORD, you hear the desire of the afflicted; you will strengthen their heart; you will incline your ear.” O God, I often pray in the morning, God, I cannot do this. I cannot do this thing called quadriplegia. I have no resources for this. I have no strength for this—but you do. You’ve got resources. You’ve got strength. I can’t do quadriplegia, but I can do all things through you as you strengthen me (Phil. 4:13). I have no smile for this woman who’s going to walk into my bedroom in a moment. She could be having coffee with another friend, but she’s chosen to come here to help me get up. O God, please may I borrow your smile?

What a comfort it is to know in the midst of trials that God does hear the desire of the afflicted and will strenghten their hearts! Please join me in praying for these friends & my mom as they walk through difficult trials.


anne said...

thanks for sharing this...
God is so incredible, the ways and times he chooses to reveal more of himself to us.
I will join you in prayer for your family, and friends.
His will be done.

Ruthie said...

Hi Tara. Thanks so much for sharing that. I am glad that you are well, I will be praying that it continues :). I am so sorry to hear about your friends, and your mom. How hard it is for us to accept our lot from God. I just hear about your suffering and their suffering and am tempted to say "why Lord?" If only we could be like Job and say "The Lord gives and the Lord takes away, blessed be the Lord"....and MEAN it. :)
Thanks again for sharing

Danielle said...

I'm really looking forward to that book coming out, I need it! I've been going through some really tough struggles too. I'm sure as you've experienced, it's always toughest to watch someone else you love have to suffer. To trust God for their sake, and not be able to "fix" the situation. I'll be praying for your mom and friends.

Shawnda said...

good stuff - thanks for sharing! Suffering, because Piper was our pastor for 3 yrs...and in many ways still is!!!, is a topic often discussed and wrestled with in our home...along with Christian hedonism and how the 2 so graciously go together. I am praying for your mom and these friends of yours right now....