Christmas Pictures

It's that time again! Christmas picture time!!! I'm not sure if there's anything harder than trying to snap a photo of a three year old and a 9 month old. Snap a photo and have them both smiling and looking at the camera that is. But we dressed up and thought it was worth a try! On the way to take pictures at my parents house I confessed to Chris my temptation to sin if we did not get any good pictures after the hour it took getting everyone ready. He helped me see that my heart was the concern of the night not getting good pictures. Well thankfully my heart made it through and we walked away with a keeper as well as a few others. A special thanks to papa with his funny voice that sounds like he's dying, and to nana for her quick trigger finger!

Here are a few that didn't make the cut...




and the winner is....



one more cute one....


Cards coming soon :-)

Repentance

Chris spoke on Repentance Friday night at the singles corporate meeting. It was a message that I have been eager to hear. One because Chris has been working on it for over a month now and two because I really believed that there was something I needed to learn from his message. Here are his points from 2 Corinthians 7:5-11

Regarding the nature of repentance:

We need to be students of our own sin
We must cultivate sorrow over sin
We must cultivate hatred toward sin
We must confess sin
We must turn from sin

Concerning motivation for repentance Chris pointed out that:

Christ purchased the gift of repentance on the cross
Christ is exalted when we repent

I realized how rare it is for me to have sorrow and hatred over my sin. Sure I'm sorry that I sinned but I rarely take the time to cultivate sorrow and hatred for my sin. To think that it was my sin that nailed him to the Cross. It's just seems easier to say a quick prayer of forgiveness and then try to "put on" the right thoughts and behaviors. Also I haven't really been thinking of repentance as a grace gift from the cross. I am eager to start applying this message to my life! I think I am going to start with my anger towards walmart. Once I finally found everything I was looking for in that over crowded super store we decided to save ourself a long line and head to the self check out. Cause really how hard can it be to self check 20 items? Well after the first two items scanned it appeared to malfunction and it made us press the 10 digit barcode, then enter, then choose the picture of the item on a screen. Oh my, it was bad, Trevor started screaming, I was impaitent, Chris was getting impatient and Taylor was trying to be a servant and was handing every item one by one to her daddy in which he would repeat the whole try to scan it a couple of times, have it fail, type in barcode process with. At one point I honestly wondered if we were on some sort of hidden camera show!!! But I wasn't it was just yet another opportunity for me to repent of my sin.

For further study I highly recommend Thomas Watson book Doctrine of Repentance and also listening to Chris message when you get a chance.

The Kindergarten Code

I read this post on Dr. Al Mohler's blog today:

The Kindergarten Code- The Ivy League For Five Year Olds

He talks about parents who are determined to raise superior children, who eventualy will gain admission for Havard. He ends by saying
"This entire phenomenon points to the fact that too many parents are treating their children as projects to be perfected rather than as persons to be loved, nurtured, taught, and disciplined. As this article makes clear, some parents see children as an extension of ego -- trophies for social status. This is unspeakably sad." I admit that as I have begun some preschool work with Taylor this year I am tempted to think about how smart she is and how advanced I want her to be in school. Oh how wrong a focus this is.... yes I desire her to learn the skills of reading, math and arithmatic but God forbid I ever desire that more than her being saved and growing in Godliness. The job as her parent/teacher is to prepare her for the day she stands before the Lord. He will not care how "advanced" she is or what Ivy league school she has attended. No, He will want to know who she has put her trust in to save her from the wretched sinner that she is. How humbling it is to be a parent!

How I became a Reformed Charismatic

Well this seems to be the topic as of late on the blogsphere. My brother Ryan just posted on this yesterday. My post could begin and end in one sentence. How did I become a Reformed Charismatic? I submitted to the leadership of my husband in this doctrinal shift for our family. Although true I will give you a little more. I grew up in a Christian home and attended a nice little community church where I was saved. I'll quote my brother in the kind of church this was "For most of my youth anything that could be offensive to the congregation was held back from the congregation, therefore I was unaware of any controversial topics. We got a healthy dose of do this and don’t do that along with alter calls (which inherently are not wrong in my belief) and the “pray this prayer and you will be converted.” I had a high view of myself and a small view of God." At 18 I stumbled upon a Five Points of Calvinism book and devoured the material and anything else I could get my hands on concerning the subject. It didn't take long for the Lord to open my eyes to this truth in his word. I found a church that taught and believed these truths. As far as the gifts were concerned I was a cessasationist for as long as I can remember. I had an Old Testament view of prophecy, did not believe in a prayer language, and thought tongues & signs and wonders were gifts that ceased with the closing of the canon. I had scripture to back up my beliefs but I think my experience with a Pentacostal church kind of sealed the deal. - I was 16 when a friend at school invited me to attend her church. I walked into utter chaos. People laying in the aisle, speaking/screaming in tongues and that was just during worship. Let's just say I left before the sermon began. Fast forward a few years, I marry Chris, we begin our family, plant a church, then stumble upon Sovereign Grace (PDI at the time). We attended a small group leaders conference and it was there our belief in the "charismata" began to be challenged. Now It was one thing for me to hold to a doctrine with an experiencence that left me never wanting to believe otherwise. So I didn't really have a catergory for a church that practiced the gifts according to scripture. Now don't hear me wrong, I'm not advocating to base your doctrine on expereince. It just shows you how proud and immature I was at the time, well I'm still proud and immature but you get the point. This conference began a year and a half long journey of studying scripture, reading books & meeting with the Pastor from our church and the Sovereign Grace Church. Chris spent many hours on this subject. Actually he went away for a week where he did nothing but study this topic. He brought it back to me and shared his new convictions with me. Now thankfully the Lord did a work in my heart as well and I came to the same conclusions in searching the scripture but what I was left with was submitting to where this change in doctrine would lead us. I will save that story for another day. Also for scripture references on this topic see my Husband's Blog where he is in the middle of a Holy Spirit series.

Worship Matters Blog

Make sure you check out today's Worship Matters blog by Bob Kauflin. It is excellent! Of course everyday has been outstanding but I was left especially encouraged in the Lord with today's post.

Thanksgiving Idols

I hope everyone had a wonderful thanksgiving! Ours was a little sick.... the kids were still not feeling 100% and Chris woke up with the same cold feeling miserable. We agreed that he would try to sleep it off until it was time to leave for my parents house. As I began the morning I found myself starting to grumble and complain in my heart, even getting angry at Chris because he was sick. Yeah like he choose to be sick on Thanksgiving. The kids were not exactly on their best behavior either. In fact I think Trevor was on my leg crying "mama" and Taylor threw a tantrum all while I was tying to make my green bean casserole. I tried my usual just put on a happy face and not deal with the heart technique but like always it failed to work. At about 11:00 I got the kids settled with a Baby Einstein movie and retreated to the shower. It was there that I began to do the heart work. James 4:1 says that our conflicts are caused by the cravings that lie within. So I asked the question what is it that I'm craving... ok I desired a nice sit down family breakfast together. Which is a good thing right? Yes, but it shouldn't cause me to be angry and complain when It doesn't go as planned. I desired help thanksgiving morning so that I could peacefully make the side dishes I was taking to my moms. Again a reasonable request? Ok take out the peaceful part and it's not so bad. So I began to confess my sin to the Lord- the idols of comfort, having things go the way I want them to go. Confessing my anger and distrust in the Lord's goodness in it all. Then, after being humbled by God's gracious forgiveness over my sinful attitude I began to be thankful for the most important thing in my life. God's saving work done in my life through the power of the gospel. Later on I read this quote on Girl Talk and was impacted by Spurgeon's words

"The fear of a man who really knows the love and goodness of God, will be somewhat of this kind: He will fear lest he should really be, or should seem to be, ungrateful. 'What' he asks, 'can I do? I am drowned in mercy. It is not as though my ship were sailing in a sea of mercy; I have been so loaded with the favour of the Lord that my vessel has gone right down, and the ocean of God's love and mercy has rolled right over the masthead. What can I do O Lord? If thou had given me only a little mercy, I might have done something, in return, to express my gratitude. But oh! Thy great mercy in electing me, in redeeming me, in converting me, and in preserving me, and in all the goodness of thy providence toward me;--what can I do in return for all these favour? I feel struck dumb; and I am afraid, lest I should have a dumb heart as well as a dumb tongue; I fear lest I should grieve Thee by anything that looks like ingratitude."

Yes there is so much to be thankful for. I thank God for his kindness in not letting me stay in my sin but bringing about conviction, repentance and then pouring out his sweet forgiveness.

Today looked something like this...

Sick kids

Well Chris' day off didn't really amount to a day off, the kids got sick. Taylor has a minor cold- not sick enough to be in bed all day but just enough to make her crabby. Trevor has a stomach virus and has had non stop diarrhea. Poor guy is miserable! You know you are at a mom's blog when the post is about diarrhea huh? I felt his top teeth coming through today so that could contribute to some of his sickness. I admire Chris so much he has one solid day off and he spends it helping me care for the home and wipe runny noses and clean poopy diapers. Now I know that's apart of being a husband and a dad but he does it all without complaining! Ok I'm off to seek to apply the Gospel to my day!

The Best Day Of The Week

Chris has done a great job leading out family and has repeatedly taught Taylor that Sunday is the best day of the week. Why you might ask? Because we as a family have the privilege to go to the dearest place on earth and fellowship with the dearest people on earth, as CJ Mahaney, would say. So as we do every Sunday, Taylor wakes up and we tell her that today is Sunday and she replies with " The best day of the week?" Yes Taylor, the best day of the week. Now for a pastor's wife with two young children I can be tempted with all sorts of thoughts on this best day of the week. Really how hard can it be to get two children dressed and myself ready and out the door by 9:45? I ask myself that every week. But it's almost as if they know it's Sunday and mom's alone with the task of getting to church on time. Maybe that's why this Sunday Taylor decided to get into my nailpolish at 9:40 and proceed to paint her nails and her entire arms with the polish. I come in from loading up the car to a sheepish Taylor holding out her arms " Look mommy, I just wanted to be pretty for church." Ah yes Taylor and I just wanted to make it to church today without out any drama. Oh the idols of the heart! So although I agree wholeheartedly that Sunday is indeed the best day of the week it can also be the most sanctifing and I'm not referring to the Sunday message. Well I'm off to enjoy the second best day of the week- MONDAY!!! Chris' day off.

The Ministry of The Holy Spirit

My Husband just began a series on The Ministry of The Holy Spirit.

Trevor's New Haircut

Most of you have probablly seen Trevor's new haircut he got last week but just in case you missed it on sunday here it is! He looks just like Chris now! I love it!

Kids in Costumes

As promised here are a few pictures of the kids in their costumes! Haven't had much extra time to blog lately. I'm eager to share all that I'm learning in the Art of Divine Contentment by Thomas Watson. The Lord has been doing serious work in my heart through this book. Ultimately pointing me back to the Gospel and the mercies I have in Christ. Quotes to come soon...

On a kid update: Taylor is very close to being potty trained. Just working on staying dry through the night. We have told her that when she is potty trained she will get a big girl bed. Big girl bed= twin bed. And we will pick out a new comfortor together! I'm very excited. That will be her Christmas!
Trevor is saying mama now! Loud and clear and he will crawl to me and climb up my leg saying "mama,mama" more in a whiney tone but it still warms my heart :-)

Pumpkin Time

Could she get any cuter?? More pictures to come of the kids in their costumes!

The Gospel Applied At All Hours Of The Night

I recently got back from a trip to Naples FL. I was flown out to help lead worship in the mornings for a National Litigation Academy for Lawyers. Just Trevor and I went and one of the wives of a guy playing with us watched him in the mornings. It was filled with a lot of fun as well as some trials. One big one was that Trevor was up every couple hours at night. I felt like I had a newborn. Those of you who know us well know that Trevor's sleeping habits have been a constant struggle. These past few months we've resorted to making sure he's ok in his crib than leaving and letting him cry himself back to sleep. Well when you are at the Ritz Carlton, I know I didn't have it that bad, you will do just about anything to keep your child quite so that he won't wake the millionaires next door to you. I read this quote from Spurgeon the one morning:

"To look at Christ is to live; but for strength to serve him, you must eat what he provides. We work too often in a sense of unnecessary weakness because we neglect this perception of the Master. None of us need to put ourselves on a low diet; on the contrary, we should fatten ourselves in the Gospel so that we may derive strength from it and extend every power to it's limit."

Well I'm glad I read that early on because I began to fatten myself in the Gospel and it looked a little something like this.

2 am: Trevor- Up crying for the third time that night
Me: Why Lord? I just want to sleep! I think I might scream if it wasn't for the people in the walls next to me... no I'm going to fight off complaining and be thankful. Thank you Lord for the gift of a son! Thank you Lord that I can bring comfort to him! but wait- how am I going to function tomorrow? I'm so tired and weary! Turn you eyes to the Lord Tara. He has died for all your sins and meet your greatest need how much more will he meet your need for strength tomorrow. Cast all your cares on Him!

2:45- Trevor falls back asleep. I thank God!

4 am- Trevor up again crying for the fourth time...
Me- Seriously is there something wrong with my c hild. Why does it seem like every baby sleeps well but him? Will this ever end? Fight for faith- Tara God works all things for you good and he sees it as good for you to be up right now for the fourth time! Trust him- he is Good to you- you have eternal life with the Father. The joy of this truth is your strength!

5 am- Trevor falls back asleep

6 am- I wake for the day tired & weary but turn my eyes to
James 1:2 For I know the testing of the Lord produces steadfastness. And Let steadfastness have it's full effect, that you may be perfect and complete lacking nothing.
There is joy knowing that the gracious Lord will sanctify me in this trial. I will not fight it- Let your will be done in my life Lord. I submit myself under your Sovereign hand & will.

And so the routine went for five nights! But God was faithful and after it was all said and done Trevor has his first two teeth to show for it and I have grown in pursuit of Godliness! and for the latter I would do it all over again.

Unfortunately for Chris he had a trial of his own with Taylor while I was gone.

Name Of My Blog

I love to read. I especially love to read God's word and books that will encourage me in my growth in Godliness. One book that has greatly impacted me is Stepping Heavenward, hence the name of my blog, by Elizabeth Prentiss. It is her journey of her life from age sixteen to her grown up later years. She begins...

"I determined, in the first place, to begin this journal. To be sure, I have begun half a dozen, and gotten tired of them after a while. Not tired of writing them, but disgusted with what I had to say about myself. But this time I mean to go on, in spite of everything. It will do me good to read it over, and see what a creature I am."

How true that is in my own life. I have often re-read my own writings from years past and have been utterly disgusted by who I am. Which is really nothing more or less than a wretched sinner in need of a savior! Oh but for that reason alone I keep them displayed on our bookshelf so when I start to think more of myself than I ought I can pick up any one of the ten and get a great big dose of humility.

I am also inspired by her view on mothering. When her sister criticized her for having another child Elizabeth's respone was...

Here is a sweet, fragrant mouth to kiss; here are two more feet to make music with their pattering about my nursery. Here is a soul to train for God; and the body in which it dwells is worthy all it will cost, since it is the abode of a kingly tenant. I may see less of friends, but I have gained one dearer than them all, to whom while I minister in Christ's name, I make a willing sacrifice of what little leisure for my own recreation my other darlings had left me. Yes my precious baby, you are welcome to your mother's heart, welcome to her time, her strength, her health, her tenderest cares, to her lifelong prayers! Oh, how rich I am how truly, how wondrously blest!

There have been many late nights with Trevor, more I admit then I signed up for, where I hear a voice repeating " How rich I am how truly, how wondrously blest!" Which leads me to more prayers and thanksgiving for the gifts the Lord has given me.

I realize I have nothing new to offer the blogging world. This blog won't be up on current events or politics being that it's a good day when I know what's going on outside my house let alone the world abroad. I fear my days of studying for hours and hours on election and atonement are over. I have to fight daily just to get a few scriptures read to feed my soul. I am a wife and mother, trying to live out the Gospel in every area of my life for the glory of God.

So forgive my often lack of depth in my blog- it will appear from time to time. But mostly this is a place where I can rejoice in being a mother and share with all who care how my little ones are growing. And probably more important how my little ones are growing me.