Suffering

It's been awhile since I've posted. Last I left sick & thankfully I return well! It took it's toll on me but as many of my mommy friends know life doesn't stop when you get sick. The days of staying in bed watching old movies and eating chicken noodle soup are long gone. But like I expected God was faithful & I was met with much Grace throughout the week. And I'm happy to report that I think my house is back in order after sustaining much kid damage.

It has been quite a week of encountering suffering. Not so much for myself as for others in my life. One friend having to wait longer than expected to get pregnant, another friend miscarried & another received a grievious diagnosis for her baby. All very sobering & humbling. Meanwhile my mom went to the ER Saturday night and was admited to the hospital a few days due to her heart acting up. These are lifelong heart problems and thankfully she is home but continues to wrestle with the realities of having chronic health conditions and the desire to be healthy and "normal" like others her age. Yes sometimes it's hard to reconcile trials with what we know to be a good & loving God. I have struggled through this issue for many years watching my mom suffer. The timing on the Girl Talk blog doing experts from John Piper's new book, Suffering & The Sovereignty of God, was perfect. I only wish I didn't have to wait till September to purchase it. I was particularly encouraged by Joni Eareckson Tada's excerpt:

Please know that I am no expert at this wheelchair thing. I’m no professional at being a quadriplegic. There are so many mornings when I wake up and I can hear my girlfriend come to the front door to help me get out of bed and get ready for the day. She goes to the kitchen, turns on the water, and starts brewing coffee. I know that in a few moments she’s going to come gliding into the bedroom, where she’ll greet me with a happy, “Good morning!” And I am lying there with my eyes closed, thinking, O God, I can’t do this. I am so tired. I don’t know how I’m going to make it to lunchtime. O God, I’m already thinking about how good it’s going to feel when I get back to bed tonight and put my head on this pillow.

I’m sure you have felt that way at some point. Maybe you feel that way every morning. But Psalm 10:17 says, “O LORD, you hear the desire of the afflicted; you will strengthen their heart; you will incline your ear.” O God, I often pray in the morning, God, I cannot do this. I cannot do this thing called quadriplegia. I have no resources for this. I have no strength for this—but you do. You’ve got resources. You’ve got strength. I can’t do quadriplegia, but I can do all things through you as you strengthen me (Phil. 4:13). I have no smile for this woman who’s going to walk into my bedroom in a moment. She could be having coffee with another friend, but she’s chosen to come here to help me get up. O God, please may I borrow your smile?


What a comfort it is to know in the midst of trials that God does hear the desire of the afflicted and will strenghten their hearts! Please join me in praying for these friends & my mom as they walk through difficult trials.

What do you do...

What do you do when you are caring for two sick kids, wake up sick yourself and then get a call from your husband saying he's been called in to preach at the last minute? Laugh a little and then pray and recount all the ways God has been faithful before and look forward to how he will be faithful again! Until next week!

The Verdict Is...

The tie breaker goes to the girls! Taylor & Trevor will be having a sister. I am thrilled. I have tried hard with all my pregnancies to not wish for one gender over the other. But this time I couldn't help it, I really wanted a girl. I was hoping for a sister for Taylor. Even though God may give us more children, Taylor is getting older and I was hoping that if she were to have a sister they could be somewhat close in age. Taylor is very excited and Trevor, although he doesn't know it yet, will be too. He'll have a little sister to practice leading, providing & protecting on! Even better news... Our little girl looks totally healthy. Everything was normal. Thank you Lord for these gifts from you!

Happy Birthday Honey!

30 years ago today my greatest gift here on earth was born. I am so blessed to be your wife love!

"At the end of the day if it's just you and me
At the end of the road there's no place I'd rather be
then to end all my days in the warmth of your arms
It's just you & me, It's Just you & Me
At the end of the day"

Henry

It has become routine with Taylor while putting her to bed to review the day. Afterwards she always asks, "What day will tomorrow be? " I will tell her and then she'll ask " What do we do on ______ ? " Repeating whatever day tomorrow will be. Tonight was no different and I began to explain to her what Thursday holds. One being daddy's birthday and the other being mommy getting pictures of the baby in her tummy. I told her that tomorrow, if the Lord wills, we will find out if she will be having a sister or a brother. Now up to this point she has been adamant about having a sister. Telling everyone that mommy is having a sister for her. Knowing this I tried to prepare her heart and response that whatever the Lord gives us we will rejoice and give thanks. Even if it's another brother like Trevor. At which I expected her to protest and say it's a girl. Instead she replied, "ok but let's name my brother Henry. That's a great name right mom? " Yes Taylor Henry is a great name....goodnight sweetie.

p.s. As excited as I am in Taylor's initial response, the baby will not be named Henry. No offense to all the Henry's out there, really it is a great name. Just not a Daukas name :-)

Book recommendations/Boy or Girl?

This week will be an exciting one. On Thursday Chris turns 30! Also on Thursday we have the big ultrasound appointment. This will be Chris' first time seeing our baby and hearing the heartbeat. We will be finding out the gender so stay tuned. Chris thinks it's a boy and well I have a feeling it's a girl. Of course the odds in the Daukas family are definitely in Chris' favor. Right now I have a 1 in 5 chance it's a girl ;-)

Other than awaiting Thursday there is not much to blog about. So if I could leave you with two book recommendations.

1. Women's Ministry and the Local Church by Ligon Duncan & Susan Hunt - I have read the first five chapters and it has been outstanding.

2. God is the Gospel by John Piper-This is a book I have wanted to read all month. The first three chapters have been assigned for our Pastor's care group Thursday night, so my desire will turn into reality! I highly recommend it in light of all that I've heard from Chris. He is reading it for the second time this month and in our discussion over what he's learning I have been challenged in my walk with the Lord and in my own definition of what the Gospel is.

Fresh Grace!

Hello Friends! Chris and I's cruise was wonderful. We had such a great, relaxing time together! I got a massage, Chris got second in a basketball competition, we ate and ate and ate some more and explored Catalina Island and downtown Ensenada. Another highlight is we both got extended time each day to read the word and other books. I read a book on mothering and re-read my biography on Mrs. Spurgeon. Both inspire me in my role as a wife and mother.

I admit I had this thought when we left, what if I don't want to come back? It's a horrible thought I know. See I have been praying that God would help me to die to myself. As a mother (and really as a believer) one doesn't have a choice and yes, it's been a slow death, but one nonetheless. So here I was given a chance to go and indulge in all my selfishness. Spend endless time with my favorite person on earth, sleep without being interrupted by children, able to sit and eat a whole meal slowly... and I admit it was amazing to have all those things again. Also, our cruise was filled with 90% retired couples. I had the privilege of striking up a conversation with a few and over and over I was reminded how fast time goes. I would hear " Oh it feels like just yesterday our kids were little, enjoy every minute!" So at the end of this wonderful week there was no other place I wanted to be than back home with my children. No other person I wanted to be than a wife and a mother. Nothing else I wanted to do than to go home and continue to die to myself and train up young souls for the Lord. I want to take every moment and make every memory I can with them. Yes, the Lord meet me in some wonderful ways. Renewed my faith and gave me a fresh vision for mothering. How thankful I am! It was a sweet reunion Friday night with the children! Apparently they missed us as much as we missed them :-)

here are some pictures of our cruise: http://homepage.mac.com/daukas/PhotoAlbum6.html

*sorry since we've gotten a Mac I haven't been able to figure out how to make an actual link for one to click on...

Cruise Break

Well I'm off for a week vacation with my hubby! Eight months of waiting has come to an end! This was going to be a suprise trip for Chris to celebrate his upcoming 30th birthday. I let him in on the surprise and I'm glad I did as we have both enjoyed anticipating the cruise. I will post some pics when we get back.

A special thanks to all in our 24/7 singles ministry! What a generous surprise you gave Chris & I this morning. We love you all so much and count it a tremendous privilege to be apart of your lives. Chris and I are checking out the cruise excursions tonight and thanks to your generous gift we will be able to do a few of them!

Have a great week!

Second Honeymoon

I know many of you read girl talk and if you don't you should stop reading mine and go straight there! I was encouraged by Carolyn Mahaney's post today.

http://girltalk.blogs.com/girltalk/2006/02/empty_nest_or_s.html

Carolyn speaking about an encounter she had with another women who too has found herself with an "empty nest",says,

"Wise words for all of us, from a woman who is reaping the rewards of a lifetime investment in her marriage. Often I meet young women who could benefit from this advice. They are overwhelmed by the demands of motherhood, or simply more engrossed in being their kid’s mom than their husband’s wife. Some have grown apathetic and less than enthusiastic about their marriage relationship. Sadly, I’m not always sure that many young wives stop to consider how their present way of relating to their husband will affect the future happiness of their marriage."

I am so thankful for this advice and the encouragement I get from other Godly women around me to work hard at loving my husband. Not that's it's hard work but so often I find myself putting all my efforts into loving my children and taking care of the home that I don't save much energy or time to give towards loving Chris. It's can be tempting to think, well one day the kids will be gone and then I will have plenty of time to give to Chris. Instead I should thinking, one day the kids will be gone and I want to reap the fruit of years of hard work that we devote to keeping a loving, passionate marriage!

Which is why I am so excited that in 4 days Chris and I will be on a plane heading to board a cruise ship for five days! It will be like a second honeymoon for us. We were trying to figure out when the last time we had even a day alone together (not counting conferences) and it's been at least two years! California here we come :-)

True Beauty

1 Peter 3: 3 Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair, the wearing of gold, or the putting on of clothing— 4 but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious.

Slowly but surely, since the day I found out I was pregnant, my waistline has been disappearing and although I know I'm pregnant at this point it feels like I'm just gaining weight. My clothes have stopped fitting me comfortably and most of my maternity clothes are still to big. So I just need to hang out in this awkward stage for a few more weeks. I have found my thoughts drifting more towards "how do I look?", asking Chris "Do I look pregnant or fat?". My wise husband has gently pointed me back to 1 Peter 3:3. I am so thankful for a Godly husband and God's word. It is wonderful that in a society/culture that is all about obsessing in making your outward appearance perfect I can look to God's word and find that it's the inner beauty that is precious in his sight. And it's in cultivating true beauty that I need to give my attention to.

A dream come true....

Well Chris announced last week that with some of our tax money we could take it and invest in a new digital camera. Within a day we had one picked out an ordered on Costco.com. At first it looked like it wouldn't make it in time for his birthday but thankfully it arrived the day before! I just have to share some of our photo's. I am so pleased with this camera! It's a kodak Z750.


We never got such clear color with our old camera!

Trevor had no problem digging into his cake!

My little birthday man!

Happy Birthday Little Man

Yes it was one year ago today that my firstborn son was welcomed into the world. I remember arriving at the hospital the night of the 15th in labor. Actually "labor" began the day before but I remember thinking how nice an epdiural would be after dinner and figured that was my cue to head to the hospital. It was 10:30pm and I was beginging to wonder why my children like to make there appearances in the middle of the night. 4:30am Trevor Stuart was born with a very simple delivery. Yes it has been an amazing year! He is a wonderful, sweet, very active, little boy!

God's Grace At Work

Last weekend we had a women's seminar on Loving Your Husbands. It was a wonderful time and there were some areas of sin in my life that was brought out. One being my attitude when Chris arrives home from work. My attitude has been "Oh good your home, now you can help me". Being pregnant has only amplified my struggle. I have been more sick with this one than with the other two. Nothing to terrible but I have had bouts of nausea, mostly in the evening, and major fatigue. The conference helped me so how selfish my attitude has become. Especially since the Lord has called me to care for the home & children not Chris. Now having the wonderful loving husband that I have he comes home from work eager to serve me & the kids. But I need and want to have that same eagerness in serving him when he gets home. So... I had a perfect opportunity this week to embrace my call as a wife/Pastor's wife and joyful take on the full load of work while he traveled to Maryland to take a class with our Sr. Pastor at the Pastor's College. I have been a little anxious for this particular trip because of how sick I've been feeling. But in ending my 13th week, I have hardly felt nauseous and the Lord has graciously sustained my energy. He also graciously brought some help along. It has been a fun week with the kids & I've even gotten to some projects in our house that have been in need of my attention. Yes, God's grace was there but I do eagerly await his return tonight. And this time with a God-glorifying attitude!

Jars of Clay and life...

I went to a Jars of Clay concert Tuesday night with performances by Derek Webb & Sara Groves. It was outstanding! I was really excited to see Sara Groves as she has quickly become my favorite female artist! I was pleasantly surprised by how much I enjoyed Jars of Clay- there songs bring back a lot of memories.

I still remember where I was when I heard there first single, Flood, 10 yrs ago. I quickly made a purchase of their CD and became a fan. I remember the breakup of a guy that I had been seeing for three years off and on and listening to World's Apart, confident that this breakup was the Lord's will. I remember Chris and I's early dating days and driving home late at night, don't worry kids it wasn't too late, listening to their new CD If I Left The Zoo. I can still recall the feeling of driving on the freeway with the windows down and heat on during the month of December wondering if Chris was going to purpose soon, while listening to No One Loves Me Like You. For Taylor's birth I made a collection of my favorite songs to be played while I was in labor and she happened to be born while River Constantine was playing. Then while Chris and I made a fresh start with our lives in Maryland two years ago at the Pastor's College they came out with their Who We Are Instead album. This CD as well as the song Sunny Days will always remind me of the PC. And my most recent memory happened a few weeks after Trevor was born. The sleep deprivation started to kick in one Sunday afternoon and I had just gotten both kids down for a nap. Those of you who are moms know what a miracle it is to get both kids down at the same time!! I took the God given opportunity to lay down myself and just as I started to drift off Trevor woke up crying. Knowing that Chris should be home any moment and feeling on the edge of a breakdown I took my bible and the IPOD outside to compose myself. I sat on the front porch but my new child had a great set of lungs and even with music and the door closed I could still hear him crying. So I moved to the van. We had just purchased Jars Redemption Songs (their best yet in my opinion) CD so I played that in the background. I listened to I Need Thee Every Hour and God Will Lift Your Head while reading the Psalms and had a good cry. Chris' car pulled up next to the van within five minutes. He looked over and saw me crying and has this look of "What in the world...?" He kindly went inside and cared for Trevor while I sought the Lord.

All that to say I had to laugh when they announced at the concert that they will be coming out with a new CD this summer. Just in time for the birth of our third child in August!

Not quite getting it....

We have noticed a lot of complaining coming from our daughters mouth recently. Comments like " I have no one to play with me" or " I'll never get to do.." whatever it may be that she wants to do. In our training efforts we have had her memorize "Do Nothing with grumbling or complaining" as well as some role playing with her. We sought counsel last week on this issue at our Pastor's Care Group and as always we received much wisdom. One idea was that when she complained to have her say one thing that she is thankful for. Here are some of the responses I've gotten,

Me: Taylor honey God's word says to not grumble or complain but instead to rejoice always. I want you to tell mommy one thing you are thankful for.

Taylor:" I'm thankful that we are going to nana's tonight"
me: " Ok that's good Taylor. You can be thankful for nana's but we are not going there tonight.

Taylor: " I'm thankful that we are going to Disneyland next week"
Me: Um... You can be thankful for Disneyland, even though you've never been there, but we are not going to Disneyland next week"

Taylor: "I'm thankful that we are getting a dog"
Mom growing a little impatient: "You're not getting a dog Taylor"

Yeah, I don't think she's quite getting it yet :-) But she will!