Confessions of A Church Planters Wife

Church planting is thrilling, it's exciting, it's scary and sometimes it can try your faith. Ok, so sometimes it can try my faith. I think recently it's become more "real" that we've moved. I am thankful that I can visit my parents and friends without buying a plane ticket. But I've found that finding 2 1/2 hours of driving time in a day can also be hard to do. Especially in the midst of the demands of schooling and building new relationships here in the west valley, which is what I'm really called to be doing. So suddenly the thought, it's only a 1hr away, doesn't change the fact that Gilbert is no longer my home and well, there are days I still wish it was.

It's been about a year since the announcement of our church plant was made at our home church in Gilbert! Hard to believe. Since that time I've found fear and anxiety slowly creeping in. Suddenly I don't feel so secure. Even though the God I worship hasn't changed certainly something I had misplaced faith in did. And now I fear God would suddenly stop being God! "What if the church plant didn't succeed what would happen to us? We have three kids, a house payment!" What if, what if...

"Be Still and know that I am God"

I read recently that "Be Still" translates into "Be quiet". So I have fought to quiet my thoughts and dig deeper into finding my security and joy in Jesus alone. It's a fight some days I feel like I'm just beginning.

"if you have thrown your lot in with Jesus, everything he has is yours even the Kingdom itself. It would be impossible to ask for more!" Running Scared; Edward Welch


I think the number one question we get asked is "Are you growing?" This was brought to light again at our West Pastor's Retreat last week. It's a normal question. The very nature of church planting is adding to your number. We weren't a terribly big team to start with, so clearly for pure financial reasons we need to grow. But it doesn't help that this very question can reveal where I'm placing my hope. More people do not equal security. Each week I walk onto stage with the band and we begin our first song. Pretty much each week the fight in my head begins.

"Where are all the people? What happened to last weeks visitors, I thought they said they loved it and were coming back? No seriously... we have like 10 people here."

I worship and look at the hundreds of people outside of the Rio Vista Park and think how can we get all of them out there, in here?! Not so we can be a cool, happening, place, although I'm sure there's some of that in my heart but I know that God is a God who saves and I want to see his saving power displayed in our church! It's a battle and it's my battle. I've come to anticipate it, making it easier to fight but some weeks I'm weary of the fight and long for it to just go away. I know it's God's kindness that he won't let it "just go away".

"If your hope disappoints you, it is the wrong kind of hope. You see, hope in God never disappoints, precisely because it is hope in God. This means that hope placed in any other thing will always end up disappointing. When I place my hope in something, I am attaching my sense of well-being, identity, meaning and purpose to that thing in some way. In this way I "need" my hopes to become realities because I have connected my life to them" Quest For More; Tripp

"If your life is defined by how many of your little kingdom purposes you can realize, you will tend to be stressed, controlling, anxious, disappointed and fearful. You have defined your life by what you cannot control and by what God has not promised!"
Tripp

"Bad things certainly can and will happen but there is a resurrection ending. So your task is not to transform into a superficial sunny optimist. It is to grow to be an optimist by faith. The kingdom is advancing, God's reign is spreading, there will be justice and when we belong to Christ, it will end with joy!" Welch


The result of my fighting looks like this. I want to see God glorified in my life and in His church, the bride of Christ. If God sees it best to glorify himself by building Grace Church in the west side then so be it. If not he will make his plan clear when the time comes. Whatever his will is will be good and His best for my life. In the meantime I want to come alongside my husband and faithfully serve. I do not live for Grace Church, my joy is not found in Grace Church and my life as a Christian will not be defined by the success of Grace Church. At the end of the day I can only live for God's kingdom that will come. I am an imperfect person, going on an imperfect church plant with more imperfect people BUT I have the promises of God from His word that he WILL perfect his bride (the church) on the last day. I praise God for these truths. His love and acceptance of me is not based on my performance. It is a love that was and is secured in the birth, death and resurrection of Jesus Christ.


"Big kingdom hope is about entrusting my past, present and future, my identity, meaning and purpose, and my motivation for daily functioning to God and resting unafraid in him. Sure I will still face the disappointments of life in this fallen world. But, I will not panic, I will not run, and I will not quit, because my God is present even in my disappointment, and he will never change!" A Quest For More; Tripp

I will post a "real" update on Grace Church soon as there are many exciting ways in which the Lord is at work among us!

A Garden Surprise

I've talked about starting a garden in the back yard ever since we moved in. We even had the place picked out in the side of the yard. The yard got finished and the space has just sat and sat. It grew a few weeds. Not exactly what I had in mind. It got too hot in the middle of the summer and it's been a crazy september. I had began to think that planting a garden would fall into one of those great ideas that I never find time to do.

Thankfully because of my wonderful husband and children this great idea no longer fits in that category. While I was gone he built me a garden, following the square foot method. He got me started with two tomato plants, one basil and I have LOTS more soil just waiting for seeds!! I'm so happy :) And the weather is just perfect outside for gardening!




My basil plant looks a little sad. I think it needs some basil company. Or it knows it's going to get eaten later that night...


So much potential!


Trevor got to start his own garden. A flytrap!



Here's hoping my thumb turns green!

A Retreat & A Wedding

This last week Chris and I attended a Pastor's & Wives retreat for the west in Gilbert. It was such an encouraging time of worship/teaching & fellowship! Then thursday morning my dad & I flew to Florida to see my cousin Chrystal get married! It was great catching up with relatives I haven't seen in over 12+ years. My Uncle Bob & Aunt Leah put us up and I enjoyed our late night conversations. My body never could adjust to the time difference so I probably kept them up REALLY late :) The jones' are always entertaining to be around...




Here's a picture of all three Jones boys! Been awhile since they've all been together. This one is definitely going to Grandma Jones who was unable to make it!


You can visit my photography site for more pictures from the weekend.

I came home to a wonderful surprise. More details to come!

M. Family

New pictures on the tara d photography site :)

Sleep

We put our kids in their beds every night. But sometimes they don't stay there...



Ok so by "they" I mean one small boy. If we're in our rooms he'll fall asleep by our door and if we're downstairs he'll pitch his bed at the top of the stairs.



Ah, little buddy. Why in the world do you have such trouble sleeping?!


Wait what's this over here next to you...



nevermind.

School Days

School has been back in session for almost a month now. It's always an adjustment getting everyone into a grove but a welcomed one. I have really enjoyed our structured mornings learning together. This year I picked out Taylor's curriculum, unlike last year where I used a packaged one. So far I have loved everything we're doing! It's not a surprise that her two favorites are reading & history. For this years literature program we are using Drawn into the Heart of Reading. It's been amazing. I give her three books on each genre we study and she's learning how to do character webs, traits, and retail the main point of each story. This year Taylor asked to learn latin. Yes you read that right, she asked me. Occasionally I wonder if she's my child. I found a great beginning latin program from Vertias Press and off she went. "Oremus".




I had one goal for Trevor. Read. He's shown signs of being ready but his little lightbulb wasn't going off. Well within the first week of beginning a structured reading program with him he started reading! It's been quite exciting seeing him progress. Yesterday we were driving and he was spelling out signs left and right. "STOP, mom stop!" "Keep Left, mom keep left" then he asked "Mom what does CVS spell?" Wasn't quite sure how to answer that one :) I find teaching my child to read as one of the greatest rewards as a mom!



What does Rylee do? She just kind of goes with the flow. She too knows all her letters and sounds but isn't quite ready to blend them together. I bet by the end of the year she'll be reading from watching Trevor. She's also getting really good at painting faces :)

Mrs. Boomsma

You may remember this post back in April. Well Saturday our dear friend Andrea tied the knot! Our kids were privileged to have been asked to be in the wedding. They had so much fun getting ready and opening their play bags Andrea had created for them (which was awesome Andrea). Andrea was the most beautiful bride I've seen in awhile. She was glowing inside & out! Their wedding was full of creative touches. Her husband Zach is a gifted musician and wrote music for the processional and their first dance. You should've seen all the girls while Andrea danced with Zach to the song he wrote. Not a dry eye in the room :)

Andrea, it was very evident as I looked out at ALL the people who were in attendance at your wedding how deeply you've affected so many. Including our family. You have served with your WHOLE heart during your single years! What an example you are and what a blessed man Zach is to have you as his wife.

Here's some pictures of the kids getting ready to make their big walk down the aisle.

I just love these shots of them playing. There were so many I had to throw a few together!


Taylor getting ready


Andrea had picked out these awesome bow-ties for the boys. I believe Trev is trying to negotiate here with Ms. Andrea. But Ms. Andrea is no stranger to Trevor's ways and she ends up winning :)




He looked like such a stud too


Janelle came in to say hi... ah two of my favorite people :)


The coveted basket. Rylee took her job seriously, throwing those flowers every which way. When the ceremony was over she insisted on going back down the aisle and picking them all up :)


Taylor was just a baby when Andrea first started baby-sitting her.

The ring. I wasn't so sure about this but was assured it would be fine. Trevor had the ring in his pocket and His job was to walk it down the aisle and give it to Zach in exchange for candy. A pretty fair trade for a kid. I was a little nervous of a repeat of this last wedding but as you can see the promise of candy did the trick. That and my repeating, "Trevor don't fall this time ok?" over and over to him.







The girls made it too just in case you were wondering... but you usually don't have to worry about them :)


We love you Mrs. B!

*props to my friend Ruth who made cake :)

Tara D Photography

Well I have a happy announcement to make... taradphotography.com is up and running :) It continues to be a work in progress but I'd love to share it with you as my family & friends first!

Rock Of Ages

Recently I've been thinking and praying a lot about security. As we embarked upon church planting my desire for security has only increased. The Lord keeps reminding me that security cannont and will not be found in this world. Only in Christ alone.

I've been listening to this song on repeat for the past few weeks. It's from Sandra's McCracken's Cd The Builder and The Architect. A friend recently gifted me the album and the whole cd has blessing! Wish I knew how to put the song on my blog but the lyrics alone are powerful.

Rock Of Ages

Rock of Ages, when the day seems long
from this labor and this heartache I have come
the skies will wear out but You remain the same
Rock of Ages, I praise Your name.

Rock of Ages, You have brought me near
You have poured out Your life blood, Your love, and Your tears
to make this stone heart come alive again
Rock of Ages, forgive my sin.

Rock of Ages, bind Your children until the kingdom comes
Rock of Ages, Your will be done.

Rock of Ages, when in want or rest
my desperate need for such a Savior I confess
and pry these idols out from my heart's embrace
Rock of Ages, I need Your grace.

Rock of Ages, broken, scorned for me
who am I that You would die to make me free?
to give me glory You took the death and the pain
Rock of Ages, my offering.

Rock of Ages bind Your children until the kingdom comes
Rock of Ages Your will be done.

Rock of Ages, it is done You cried
the curtains torn and I see justice satisfied
now write Your mercy here on my heart and hands
Rock of Ages, in faith I stand.

Rock of Ages, my great hope secure
Your promise holds just like an anchor to my soul
bind Your children with cords of love and grace
Rock of Ages, we give You praise.

Rock of Ages bind Your children until the kingdom comes
Rock of Ages, Your will be done. "

So thankful that I have a God who never changes. He remains the same. Rock of Ages let your will be done.

Hospitality With Young Children

My poor little neglected blog. Even though I haven't been very faithful to write on this blog, I was asked to write for the Sovereign Grace Pastor's Wives blog. What an honor! Unlike how I write here, this post needed to have correct spelling, proper grammar and coherent thoughts. Man that took a lot out of me :)

Here's a excerpt from my blog post...

"I enjoy hospitality. And I enjoy my young children. But it takes work to enjoy hospitality while having young children. Do the two really go together? Gone are the days of carefree cleaning and complicated meals. Now I’m apologizing to my guests for the cake that has a small bite in its side - a small boy snuck in an early, unapproved taste! Or come a little early and one might hear me remind my three year old that "No, it's not your birthday, and no you may not blow out the nice scented candle to make a wish!"

For the full article go here.

I do have high hopes of posting some updates and pictures this week!

Rylee's Party

This is a little late in posting but I wanted to get up some pictures from Rylee's little friend party. My parents were kind enough to open up their house so we could swim. Swimming has been one of Rylee's favorite activities this summer! She's quite the swimmer too. What a great feeling it is to watch your child jump in the pool, not drown, but rather swim her way over to the side! She remains our athletic girl. I have to say having that many 2 & 3 year old in the pool makes you count heads over and over :)



The kids worked up quite the appetite.


Taylor had the idea of dressing up as tinkerbell and surprising Rylee and the girls for presents & cake. She ate it up & the little ones kept calling her tinkerbell.



Rylee got some wings as a present:


Who wants cake?



A final one with the girls and their party goodies:

And what party would be complete without Rylee getting naked & jumping in the pool... ah I love my little free spirit!

Death & Grace Church

I was reminded again this week how much I hate death. Really hate it. Sometimes I walk around in denial that I and everyone I love will one day die and other days, like this week I'm faced with that reality all over again. Death goes against our very created nature. We were made to live & enjoy God forever and for a short time that's how we lived. There was no such thing as death, grief, mourning, tears, until the dreaded day in the garden where together Adam & Eve disobeyed God. They did the one thing they were asked not to do. At this point I can be tempted to hate Adam & Eve until I take a good look at my own life and admit that I'm no different. I probably would've ate the apple a lot quicker then they did. From their disobedience sin & death entered the world and we see the results all around us. I'm thankful that the Lord did not let the story of humanity end there. No Christ came, took on my sin and the sin of his children, died and three days later rose from the grave. He conquered death. Yes there is still death in the world but it is just a shadow. We no longer have to fear being eternally separated from God. He has made a way!

This week our dear friends found out that their baby of 37 weeks had passed. They asked me to come when she was born and take pictures so that they could remember over the years that way that the Lord had fearfully & wonderfully made her in her mother's womb. From behind the lens I wept, prayed & took pictures of little hands & feet. I also witnessed the most remarkable faith. "God is still good" my friend cried. "God we don't know why, but we trust you." They prayed through tears. Who says these things?! One who believes with all of their being that God is real & that Christ has conquered the grave. They say "God is still good," because they know that nothing can separate them from the Love of God that they have in Christ. (Rom 8) They can say, "I trust you" because the gospel, forgives them of their sin & promises them eternal life with Christ. They have the hope that one day they will be united with Adalia in heaven.

They had chosen the name Adalia for their baby girl prior to knowing that the Lord would take her. Adalia means "God is our Refuge". My friends are walking through this trial living like "God IS their refuge".

In the Lord's providence this tragedy happened the week leading up to our church plant kick off. Tomorrow we begin. God has used Adalia's short life to remind us of why we are planting Grace Church. There are hurting people that will come into our building who are grieving but not like ones who have hope. They don't know how or where to find hope in the midst of pain & suffering. People who are physically alive but spiritually dead will come to our church and we can point them to a God who forgives sin and makes men alive again! This is our prayer and we in faith, believing God wants to do these very things, will open the doors tomorrow at 4pm.

Pray for our friends and pray that Grace Church will be know as a place where the dead are made alive.

Rylee

This week my baby turned 3. What a joy Rylee Grace is! She is a bundle of energy, athletic, extremely tough, yet still has a girly side. She loves playing with her baby dolls & dress up like a princess with Taylor. She will pull you close and whisper something inaudible in your ear, then pull away and laugh! You end up laughing with her because her laughter is infectious. She is tenderhearted, always wanting to pray for someone when they are hurt. She'll fold her little hands and scrunch up her eyes tight to pray. And although it was her birthday, she gave her mom a nice present too :) The Daukas' home is officially diaper free!

Rylee is beautiful, quite stunning I think. But to appreciate Rylee is to know her high pitch voice. The other week Chris was playing guitar in his office and Rylee came in wanting to sing with him. They started doing this back and forth thing and Chris hit record. I'm so glad he did! I'll treasure this little voice for a lifetime!

The first song is one Chris wrote for a children's scripture cd our church put out a few years back and the second is God of This City. It was used in a sendoff video for our church plant team. I think Rylee has watched this video close to 50 times :)

Safe

I've been reading through Comforts from the Cross, Celebrating the Gospel One Day at a Time by Elyse Fitzpatrick the past month. It's been outstanding food for my soul each morning as she helps her readers to apply the gospel in fresh ways.
A few days ago I read a section where she expounded on John 18:4-8

"Then Jesus, knowing all that would happen to him, came forward and said to them, "Whom do you seek? ... I told you that I am he. So, if you seek me, let theses men go."

Elyse says, "What a Savior we have! What a good shepherd! The wolves were circling, and he stepped forward, arms outstretched, keeping his little flock behind him. The wolves would attack; he would bear their attack himself. He would continue to guard them in ways amazing and unheard of. He bravely guarded their bodies; he would eve more courageously watch over and protect their souls."

"His great heart was filled with love, and this love empowered him to place himself between danger and those he cherished. Even though his friends weren't worthy of his protection, of his sacrifice for them, he was determined. Take me. Let them go. That's been his theme throughout all eternity. Take me. Punish me. Let them go. His love for us is our guarantee that we'll make it all the way to heaven. He interposed his body between the wrath of the religious leaders and his weak disciples; he interposed his precious blood between the righteous wrath of his father and his sinful bride. What a husband! What a Savior!"

"He sees your heart today. He know what you fear and how you continue to try to take matters into your own hand and protect yourself (so true). He sees when you cut off you enemy's ear, as Peter did, lashing out at those who threaten you, seeking to hurt them before they can hurt you. He sees when you flee naked into the night, hoping to hide yourself from failure, censure, disgrace, judgment. He sees when you swear that you don't know him, denying him by word or deed, afraid that you'll seem foolish or be persecuted. He knows when you fear the doctor's reports and try to ignore his voice speaking deeply, comfortingly to you. And yet he interposes himself between you and your enemies simply because he is determined not to lose one of those precious ones his Father has given to him!"

"Draw near to him today, won't you? He'll cover you with his strong arms and keep your soul safe. Don't hid; don't try to cover up. Just come as you are and thank him for his courageous love. "

I find it so freeing that I will make it to heaven not based on my works but on God's great love. So great that he said, "Take me. Punish me. Let her go." What a Savior!

Just Add Oreo

If you're looking to spice up your chocolate chip cookies just add oreo. I did.


and boy it was yummy


but watch your oven mit or this might happen...


back to yummy...

Add 8 broken pieces of Oreo to your chocolate chip recipe or check out the one here at Cafe Zuplas.