Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Do Not Fear

"Do not fear" Zephaniah 3:16
"What? Not even a little?"
"No, do not fear."
"Surely I may show some measure of fear?"
"No, do not fear."
Spurgeon, Beside Still Waters

I was thankful that I read this before my MRI yesterday. I repeated these words over and over as they pushed me into the tunnel. I repeated something else my husband told me minutes earlier... "don't open your eyes tara, don't open your eyes." It worked for a little while but then it got to be too much and well, I opened them. "AHHHHH get me out of here" my body screamed. I broke out in sweats everywhere and began to shake. My neck felt like is was going to expload from holding still. Now, amazingly enough I didn't ask to be taken out but I did move my head. Which works just as well as asking to be taken out, without having to face your pride. The lady came in very quickly and pulled me out saying "you moved your head". She had to reposition me and start over. Oh man I had no idea how clasustrophobic I was until yesterday. Supposedly it was an "open" MRI. But I've never felt more closed in in my life!! By the grace of God only did I make it through that test! I literally prayed and begged for mercy the entire time!! I was always a second away from losing it completely. Which I find comical. There is nothing painful about an MRI. I should've enjoyed being able to sit still for 40 minutes and not having to chase kids around. But unfortunately I did not find laying completly still while loud noises beep in your ear enjoyable. If I ever need one again they will have to drug me :-) Or as my old pastor said to me in response to him getting another MRI " Forget drugged I need to be completely unconscious!". You may wonder why I got an MRI. Well I've had some periodic numbness in my hands and arms recently and when I saw my dr. last week she thought it best to rule out some things before going to the more likely explanations like pinched nerve etc. I'm in complete faith for the results and just really glad the MRI is done!


Brandy said...

Oh Tara, how I pray that this test was just a formality! I have to keep reminding myself how great is our God and not let the ankle-biters get me, i.e. it's not fair!!. Please keep us posted. Love you.

Naomi said...

oh wow, I hope and pray I never have to do one of those. And I hope and pray your results come back positive! (as in happy, maybe I mean negative as in nothing serious. you know what I mean *wink*)

Anna said...

Ohh, my mom had to have one of those and pretty much prayed her way through it too! Doesn't sound like fun - I'm praying for you! and the results too!! Ditto Naomi. :)